For a couple of days now, SM has been teasing us with hints of finally debuting a new male soloist. That shit would have been the first male soloist from SM since Kangta, almost 13 years ago. 13 years. You know what happened 13 years ago? Not Y2K, but that's beside the point.
At any rate, that was a long ass fucking time ago, so for SM to pull something like this certainly surprised everyone.
Long essay post inc., beware.
Immediately after hearing the news, I had a few random speculations.
<--- "What the fuck? No more SM idol focus?" --->
We all know what massive clusterfuck the debut of EXO was to the KPop fandom, and the addition of the batshit crazy EXOTICs to the stan-stew certainly did nothing for the image of fangirls and fanboys being the rabid scourge on what might be an enjoyable music scene that they are. SM going with a soloist potentially of BoA-tier goodness might actually put some fans back into the SMTown roster, and we all know how big of a nut our boss Chuck busts over Boa.
<--- "SM might actually give a shit about what they're putting out there for once?" --->
For me, this was probably the most anticipated part of the whole thing. Honestly speaking, the last good male soloists probably died with Rain and Se7en's entries into the military and Psy's clusterfuck of a follow-up track to Gangnam Style (aka Gentleman, aka the MV That Shalt Not Be Reviewed). Rain's too busy fucking Kim Tae Hee to give a shit about his public image, let alone drop a decent track (and no, that potential collaboration with Psy gives me nothing to look forward to). Se7en's too busy fucking Park Han Byul to give a shit about his music either, and with his street cred looking none too good right now after celebrity soldiering, I don't think he's coming back any time soon. Psy's probably chasin' that dolla all over the globe, and until he gets his shit together, we won't be counting on the Concert King for much lately.
This sets up the perfect opportunity for a decent, not even amazing, male soloist to step in and take the scene by storm. If SM tried to put out something halfway good (eg. anything that's not the schizoelectro-trash that's been raining on our heads lately), they might have a male version of Ailee or Juniel for the SM stanners to fap to and buy shit from.
All the speculation took place in my brain until I saw the attached teaser pic.
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What the actual fuck man? SM trolled me so hard with this shit, I fear the final result. Not only are we forced to deal with some half-assed shit they stole from other people, this shit propagates the horrible trends currently floating around in KPop as we speak. I curse the dumbass who thought this ghetto-chic bullshit was a good thing. Hopefully, this is just teaser shit that never actually sees its way into the actual MV. Once upon a time, SM teasers were as horrendous as Super Junior's Mr. Simple but turned out fairly okay in the MV. But that was then, and this is now. I Got a Boy's horrible outfits/concept came out exactly as advertised, and other KPop groups thought it was okay to do the same since SM did it first.
But who knows, maybe my hopes and dreams will come true and we'll see an actual good song/solo debut from SM instead of the usual trash it's been pumping out. Or maybe I'll be right on the money and this will be utter trash. A man can dream... A man can dream...
In a world full of fuck, we can only count on Seobot.
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At any rate, that was a long ass fucking time ago, so for SM to pull something like this certainly surprised everyone.
Long essay post inc., beware.
Immediately after hearing the news, I had a few random speculations.
<--- "What the fuck? No more SM idol focus?" --->
We all know what massive clusterfuck the debut of EXO was to the KPop fandom, and the addition of the batshit crazy EXOTICs to the stan-stew certainly did nothing for the image of fangirls and fanboys being the rabid scourge on what might be an enjoyable music scene that they are. SM going with a soloist potentially of BoA-tier goodness might actually put some fans back into the SMTown roster, and we all know how big of a nut our boss Chuck busts over Boa.
 |
| "I be puttin' on sum o' dat chapstick fo' dis dome I 'bout to dish fo' Chuck." |
For me, this was probably the most anticipated part of the whole thing. Honestly speaking, the last good male soloists probably died with Rain and Se7en's entries into the military and Psy's clusterfuck of a follow-up track to Gangnam Style (aka Gentleman, aka the MV That Shalt Not Be Reviewed). Rain's too busy fucking Kim Tae Hee to give a shit about his public image, let alone drop a decent track (and no, that potential collaboration with Psy gives me nothing to look forward to). Se7en's too busy fucking Park Han Byul to give a shit about his music either, and with his street cred looking none too good right now after celebrity soldiering, I don't think he's coming back any time soon. Psy's probably chasin' that dolla all over the globe, and until he gets his shit together, we won't be counting on the Concert King for much lately.
This sets up the perfect opportunity for a decent, not even amazing, male soloist to step in and take the scene by storm. If SM tried to put out something halfway good (eg. anything that's not the schizoelectro-trash that's been raining on our heads lately), they might have a male version of Ailee or Juniel for the SM stanners to fap to and buy shit from.
All the speculation took place in my brain until I saw the attached teaser pic.
Every hope and expectation I had for this turned to shit right before my eyes. More of that garbage hoodrat-chic dumpster dive concept SM stole from YG, dipped in pink, and scooped out of the toilet SNSD used for I Got a Boy? Nope, nope, nope, fuck you SM. But it gets even better when we find out exactly who this poor soul is.
Henry? That nice kid I kinda liked on Celebrity Masterchef Korea while watching Fei cook?!After releasing two teaser photos yesterday, SM Entertainment has revealed the identity of their new solo male artist with two new photos. It is none other than Henry, who previously performed with Super Junior and Super Junior-M.Henry is a multi-talented artist who is skilled in dancing, singing, piano, and violin. He can also speak Korean, English, and Chinese, and already has established popularity all over the world as part of Super Junior-M. He also has shown off his composing skills as part of the composer team, “Noise Bank.”According to SM Entertainment, Henry will be showing his unique musical color and numerous charms through his solo album. Henry will be releasing his first solo mini-album titled, “Trap,” on June 7. [re: Soompi cause fuck Allkpop and its shitty new site, Chucklyfe4lyfe]
What in the actual fuck is this shit? Who thought writing one's name in cursive on the chest was hard shit? Not only did they steal shit from YG, they stole shit from Recess too. Yeah, that Recess.
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| Recess's Kindergartners |
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| Fantastic Baby-era Taeyang |
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| Baby Einstein shit |
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But who knows, maybe my hopes and dreams will come true and we'll see an actual good song/solo debut from SM instead of the usual trash it's been pumping out. Or maybe I'll be right on the money and this will be utter trash. A man can dream... A man can dream...
In a world full of fuck, we can only count on Seobot.
