Not really a fan of the original song, but Okasian's dope flow makes the song sound a lot better. I have no idea who the dude rapping in English is. I can't even find any info on him on Naver. Must be some gyopo that wanted to feature in a rap song.

Hyoyeon finally realized that her dancing ability is being wasted in SNSD, so to add her her Charisma (+10) and to learn a skill that will actually help SNSD, Hyo is learning the guitar. Maybe one day Hyoyeon and Kpopalypse can team up and compose a rock song to use as SNSD's title track in Korea because SNSD hasn't had a good title track in Korea in a very long time.

The experts agree: with a successful career, an eye-catching aesthetic unique among k-pop idol groups and several iconic hits under their belt, there's no denying the influence of 2NE1, a YG Entertainment production who are legitimately one of the best groups in k-pop.  Oh wait... did I type "are"?  I meant "were", sorry about that.  It's not a secret to anybody with reasonably discerning musical taste that 2NE1's last couple of years' worth of output has been complete and utter crap compared to their 2009-2011 glory days.  It hasn't hurt the group commercially but 2NE1 are riding off brand recognition alone at this point anyway, they've already built up an insane fanbase that will lap up literally anything they shit out no matter how bad (meaning bad) it is.  Let's be honest here - if 2NE1 were a brand new group debuting with any of the songs that they've been peddling lately, nobody would tolerate it - they would have sunk without a trace.


We all know the "what" and the "when", but being an inquisitive sort, I'm more interested in the "how" and "why".  How could such an iconic group suddenly sink so low in terms of musical quality?  Why do all their new songs suck many hard cocks?  This post will look at a few theories, present a case for each one, and attempt to bring an elusive answer to this troubling question.

1.  The Teddy/Han Ye Seul theory

In November 2013 it was confirmed that Teddy, YG's main producer and hit songwriter for almost all of 2NE1's material, had been in a relationship with Korean actress Han Ye Seul for the previous six months.. which funnily enough, was when 2NE1's last decent song "Scream" was released.  Coincidence?  At the time of writing this post, Teddy and Han Ye Seul are still a couple, and 2NE1's material has sucked ever since they started being an item.  Aside from causing great anguish to fellow bloggers on a purely personal level, it's possible that this relationship may have directly affected the musical quality of Teddy's output for 2NE1.


Teddy wouldn't be the only songwriter to experience difficulty in songwriting during a relationship.  Severalsongwritersacrossvariousgenres all report extreme difficulty in writing happy songs or even writing any songs at all during times that their personal lives and relationships are going well, and relative ease of either writing sad songs or writing when depressed.  There's a good reason for it - songwriting thrives off ideas, and relationship conflicts, loneliness and misfortune have a silver lining for a creative artist - they are a hive of ideas and inspiration.  On the other hand "I'm so happy" doesn't tend to make for very interesting narrative material, and songs based off this idea alone tend to be complete dogshit.

With this in mind, if Teddy and Han Ye Seul break up, we may start seeing quality 2NE1 songs again.  Or maybe not, but I can dream.

2.  The YG comeback theory

YG have been busy since April 2012, with more than just organising meetups for Teddy and his actress crush.  They've been busy with:

• Winner
• Team B (I guess "Loser" didn't have the right ring to it)
• Akdong Musician
• AllfivemembersofBigBang doing solo work
• PSY
• Lee Hi
• Epik High
• Ku Hye Sun (who?)
• Kang Seung Yoon (who?)
• Jennie Kim
• Some new girl group we don't know about yet (supposedly)
• IKON (may or may not be the same group)
• Sacking some trainee group SuPearls and trolling everyone
• Getting rid of Gummy because LOL
• Some reality TV show wank
• Nothing much else of note

No wonder they haven't got time to prioritize 2NE1 anymore, they know 2NE1 will sell anyway so they're farming out all the good shit to the new upcoming groups.  CL was waiting so long for YG to get their shit together and finally give her some tracks for the new album that she started writing parts of the songs herself just because she got so fucking bored.  Maybe the new 2NE1 comebacks have been shit simply because nobody cared.

3.  The YG Cartel theory

I'm not talking about Bom's jelly sandwich bonus content - but something else.


If you guessed "Motherfucking Reefer Madness" you are correct.  We all know that G-Dragon likes a puff of the green, and anyone who thinks that GD&TOP's "High High" is a strictly aeronautical reference is probably being willfully naive.  Not that I have any problem with it, I think the shit should be legal everywhere personally, but there's no doubt that marijuana has been proven to affect people's perception of music, by making sounds appear more vibrant and detailed than they really are.  This becomes a problem if you're in the process of creating music - something that sounds really interesting to you as a stoned composer, producer or audio engineer may sound really fucking boring to a non-stoned listener because they're not hearing it the same way that you are, because they're not on the same drugs that you are.  Too much lighting up in the recording studio could indeed be the cause of the decline in quality of 2NE1 tracks... and you thought 2NE1's reggae just sucked because you didn't like it - as it happens there's actually a medical reason why you're not into it.

4.  The Illuminati theory

Look, triangles and shit, plus ominous drones in the background and spelling mistakes... seems legit.  Also, they cover one eye sometimes (which pretty much means every k-pop artist ever is Illuminati as well as every Emocore and Visual Kei artist ever, wow who isn't in on this?  I'm in the music business too... am I the only one left out?  Where's my all-consuming satanic power?).  Could 2NE1's new shithouse music be an Illuminati plot to pummel people's brains into submission and make them more willing to accept the One World Government in return for 2NE1's silence?


Something for you to think about anyway (or laugh at the lameness of), in the meantime I'm off to scan my physical copies of 2NE1 albums for hidden RFID chips.

5.  The T-ara theory

Let's engage in netizens' favourite sport and blame T-ara!  So far according to Korea's Internet-warrior bright sparks, these things are T-ara's fault:

• KKS being cool and gangster as fuck...
• ...and getting away with it 
• Ladies Code's car accident plus CCMs graphic design department's decisions
• CCM's release schedule
• The Chuseok holiday being ruined
• Anyone who commits suicide in Korea
• Anyone sad because other people look happy on TV
• Their inferiority complexes because T-ara girls dated the "bad boy" in high school

...and that's just in the last month!  If T-ara can be responsible for all of that, statistically it's likely that they're somehow responsible for 2NE1's shit songs too.

CONCLUSION

I don't know.  What do you think?  I've devised a short (two question) survey, where you can pick from the above five options.  Click the semi-relevant picture of Eunjung below (courtesy of great French k-pop site Enlarge Your Kpop) to take you there.


Once I get enough responses (which might take a week), I'll edit this blog post to include the results!

Just recently I was wondering in regards to Soyou, "Do you even Lift"? I can definitively say she does. I can also definitely say she's making a solo comeback.

Being in the middle of watching, "My Girlfriend is a Gumiho" I can't help but notice some similarities except for Shin Min Ah has nine-tails and Soyou here at least only has one. Lame. Anyway, on Sistar's Twitter it was written that the comeback will be on September 26th.

The girlfriend, known as 'A' of Kim Hyun Joong has put in a request to drop the charges of assault and battery, essentially letting him off the hook aside from an apology and damaged public perception. The lawyer went on to say that 'A' was planning on dropping all charges on no condition or receipt of settlement money as soon as Joong made an apology.

While it's acknowedged bullshit that he is getting off with beating his girlfriend for literally nothing we can all at least rest assured that his domestic abuse was probably just an isolated incident. Like I said in the title I'm sure Oppa didn't mean it. Oppa was probably just under a lot of stress.

Well at least his fans probably look at him with a shit load of scrutiny...

It was all part of God's divine plan for him to beat the shit out of his girlfriend. God saw fit for Joong to get off scot-free so he can get back to torturing us all with shitty SS501 raps. Praise Jesus. Actually, fuck you.

So in conclusion, nothing has changed at all.

The fancam is pretty awesome, and I thought the song was pretty catchy, so I watched the music video for the song.



All of the members are good-looking and the song is fairly catchy. Curse you K-pop gods for making Tahiti extreme nugus.

Alright so I don't always recommend new groups whenever I like them, but only when I think they really deserve it, which is a different matter. Last night I saw Minx on M! Countdown and they did really well for a debut stage. Laboum has also done decently but still show a few weaknesses and their song blows, yet Minx is really competent from the start.

I had only heard of them from the previews on music shows last week, and in really lazy curiosity only searched for them in English on English search engines so I found absolutely nothing about them and thought they were from some no-name agency. However, after that performance, I looked up their MV and holy shit, they are from Happyface Entertainment a.k.a. Dal Shabet's agency. Dal Shabet was also pretty pro from the start, so they must have good people in charge over there.

Anyway, whether you like the song or not, I think they deserve to be checked out, and I do mean checked out because this MV is pretty hot and I know you all love eye candy. I don't know why they have to be so confrontational with the pizza guy, but it seems like he may have gotten a good tip.

One of the favourite criticisms directed at my own blog writing is that it's somehow "click-bait".  Here I am spending hours of my time each week, pouring my heart and soul into articles for your completely free entertainment and enjoyment, with no hidden catches or ruses, and of course entitled me-generation cuntfaces still have to complain that I'm swindling them somehow.  Of course, I only ever get this criticism from people who also don't happen to like my writing generally speaking, now isn't that interesting.


Seeing as how there's so much confusion over what apparently constitutes "click-bait", I thought it was time that I showed my readers some examples of what I think click-bait is.


I think "clickbait" is a pretty funny accusation to direct at me because I don't run advertising so there's really nothing much to "bait" people to - Anti Kpop-Fangirl has no ads to speak of, and my own site only has default ads that I see no money from and have to pay to remove so fuck that shit, get yourself an adblocker you lazy cunts.  Even on sites like Asian Junkie where my writing appears that do also host ads, it's not like you're not at least getting some serious fucking well thought-out content for your click (even if you may not necessarily agree with all of it - you disagreeable piece of shit, you).

To me, for something to be considered click-bait it has to meet BOTH of the following criteria:

• Attracts you to content containing advertising that the website host makes money from
• Title is attention-grabbing and high on promise, but actual post has sloppy content and shows signs of being rushed out super-quickly just to meet article content quotas and get you to click on it

The following examples in this post are from Koreaboo, a site so click-bait-a-riffic that it's fast gathering a reputation for itself as "the Buzzfeed of k-pop", but click-bait is a high currency in k-pop media generally and these articles could have potentially come from almost anywhere.

It's pretty obvious to me that whoever tossed this one off was working against some strict time restrictions.  At least when Kpopalypse writes about fashion you get some solid information and science along with your lazily copy-pasted pictures.  Also, how could they leave out Shindong?


Talk about doing no research.

Yura isn't even on the list.  How dare they.  And to think people have a go at me for neglecting Yura, all you crazy Yura fans go tell Koreaboo about Yurass.  She got to #2 on my own ass article, which was from collected popular opinion, but she's not even in the top 10 here.  Anyway enjoy this picture, assuming you have any of your retina left after viewing the Shindong picture above.

They don't even fucking tell you what the shades are, that's because it'd require some actual thought and research and nobody's got time for that shit when they have to pump out dozens of these type of articles per day.  Also, if they looked into it they'd have to admit that this post is more like four different shades of lipstick on 14 different women.

All idol groups interact with each other all the time because who the fuck else can they talk to who they can relate to?  Never mind that though, this article is so lazily written that they can't even draw their own red box and had to steal it from kpop-boyband-interactions.tumblr.com which I didn't even know was a place, but I guess they're more serious about their boyband interactions:

Nobody wants to see CSJH The Grace come back, you fucking twits.  Not even SM.  Not even CSJH themselves who keep releasing shitty solo stuff and dodging the issue.  And don't even get me started on Co-ed School... KKS split them up into F-ve Dolls and SPEED simply because nobody gave a fuck about them when they were together.

I guess starvation-level k-idol diets are hilarious when you're not an idol and can eat what you want.  Imagine actually being an idol and looking at this post, it'd bring you to tears.  I can almost hear them now sobbing "my manager wouldn't even let me eat all of that, we had to take it out of our mouths after the shoot"...

Don't get too excited about clicking this one, the scariest photo here is of Amber in an empty concrete pool having a nap.  Oooooooh.

This isn't a "list" article like the others but it's just as stupid.  "Oh wow, this is so disgusting - click here to watch it anyway" hahahaha nice one cunts.  They know that 99% of the people clicking this are only doing so because they want to see the video and only 1% are interested in the article's lame phony moralising.  Save yourself the trouble of clicking though because their video link has already been pulled from YouTube, just enjoy this GIF of EXO-M's manager slapping an autograph hunter instead.

Everyone already knows 'Man From the Stars' was one of the biggest drams out there, it's already being remade by a Chinese filmmaker who nicely decided to combine it with 'The Heirs' and 'Rooftop Prince' so those who haven't seen it can kill three birds with one stone.

Now I benefit by getting to watch Ye Seul on my screen again.



Now I can finally fap to new material.



And I can also fap to angry Korean netizens! Imagining their tears as they type angry messages while watching Ye Seul's drama only makes the boner throb harder.

I cried and asked you.. CEO Shin Joo Hak… I asked you not to cross the line.. You crossed the line that you shouldn't have and now you must deal with it. My lid is open. I have dealt with [everything], from hair loss to depression. Be prepared… President, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. All I wanted was a warm word.

After this it later came out that essentially the CEO had agreed to pretty much everything including contract and profit adjustments.


Things seemed like they had maybe reached their conclusion until today when Lee Hoo took to the twitters again this time saying he would still wage war against the company but only if people tweet him their names and numbers as support. Wut?

I don't want to sound unsympathetic as I fully am aware that the working conditions many of these people work under would make a child sweat shop owner blush and this company is known to be shady even among other kpop agencies. Not to mention the CEO is a suspected dirtbag. This, however seems to be something else. Lee Hoo genuinely sounds like someone who needs mental help. At first I was really pretty interested in this because a kpop agency getting all their dirty secrets exposed could be good for everyone as far as improving working conditions. But at this point, with this story particularly, it's like either spill the beans or gtfo. You got everything you wanted (through blackmail, mind you). Right now this sounds either like some kind of ridiculous publicity stunt or someone who has lost it. I base this on everything that's been said so far.

I'm not sure what the end game is here but hopefully Lee Hoo gets some help.

Many people had questions about the Ice Bucket Challenge.  Some people wanted to know "what is ALS?", "how can I donate?", "is this trend a good idea?", "is this objectifying?", "will I feel like a dumb trendy fuckstick if I do this?" and more.  My question was simpler - "which Ice Bucket Challenge among k-pop girls is the most fappable?".  This post seeks to answer this important question.


Ah, we're all trying to forget about this Ice Bucket Challenge shit now aren't we, now that the trend has run its course.  Everyone except me, naturally.  Kpopalypse is always absolutely fine with being hated so is only too happy to publish an Ice Bucket Challenge post when you're as least receptive to hearing about it as possible.  Of course I couldn't post about this back when it was trendy because people were still making the videos.  Now everyone's basically given up and moved onto whatever the newest viral trend is, it's time to collect 'em up.

A few fun points before we begin:

• I'm very pro-Ice Bucket Challenge (hereafter referred to as IBC to save typing) - and who isn't?  Money being raised to fight a terrible disease through the virtuous means of providing fap material?  I fail to see a loser in this equation.  A few people complained about it of course because complaining about things on the Internet is apparently even trendier than tipping buckets of iced water over your head was in August 2014, but they were just being hipsters and hating on something because it was popular.  The best rationale haters could come up with was something about the money not going to the right place, which of course was total bullshit, but unfortunately didn't stop people sharing the myths on SNS anyway like a bunch of stupid sheep.  Oh, and some laughable nonsense about "wasting water"... which is nothing compared to all the wasted jizz from the extra fapping that it generated.
• The whole point of the IBC was to raise awareness of Lou Gehring's Disease, which is a pretty fucked up neural disease that people can get, that is bad and kills people and that there is no cure for at this time which is even more reason for you not to be a complaining cunt about it.  At least you don't have the fucking disease and I don't see anyone with the disease complaining about ice buckets.  Apparently the physical sensation of the disease can make you feel like you've had a bucket of iced water tipped on you, hence the connection between raising money for the disease and girls getting wet - someone over at the ALS Association definitely had their fucking thinking cap on the day they thought up this shit.  This completely justifies me compiling the following list of girls getting their boobs wet so shut up.
• I couldn't find a video of every single female idol out there who I know did this, so there's probably a few gaps to be filled.  If you know of any that I've missed feel free to link me to their videos in the comments below and I won't add them to the blog post because I'm too lazy but I'm sure someone else will be grateful.
• I'm not featuring any guys (although some are incidentally in the videos anyway) because it would make this list too long as far more guys did it than girls so I prioritised what was relevant to me personally which is girls, but if any of you bloggers out there wanna make an all-guy list so you can fap then you should go right ahead and I may even link to you.  Also, Shindong didn't even do one despite being called out.by other Super Junior members, and if I can't include "the Dong" then honestly there's just no point.
• Because I'm Kpopalypse I write about k-pop so only people related to the world of k-pop are eligible.  No k-drama stars who have never sung a song etc.
• "But there's no ice in the bucket" - think I give a fuck?  I think a lot of them interpreted it as "Iced Bucket Challenge" (i.e water that is icy cold rather than with actual ice cubes) but who cares anyway.  You can have the conversation about lack of frozen cubes in the comments if you really must, I'm just here for the boobs.

Here comes the list of clickable YouTube links and ratings out of ten for everyone.  Enjoy!

---

Ailee's commitment to the cause of getting her shirt wet is impressive even though we've all already seen her boobs but I'm certainly not complaining about having more of a good thing.  She even wears a white top which is great, pity she wears a thick bikini top underneath it and her boobs are covered by either her hands or a towel for the duration.  Still, Johnny Noh is an asshole so I'm going to give Ailee an 8.

75% of BESTie appear for an IBC video, and it meets required standards, with tops getting wet, and even some light bouncing from Dahye.  Why only three of them though?  Oh well, at least my personal fave Hyeyeon didn't miss out (her ugliness is cuter than the other members' cuteness) but she's not wearing very good clothes for this.  They should have done the challenge in those police uniforms, now that would have been nice.  It's still a good effort though so let's give the three BESTie members an 8.
At first, I was like "what... Dara?  Nobody wants to see that" but then I noticed that she was wearing a mostly blue top against a mostly black background and I couldn't really see much anyway.  Thanks Dara!  Also, Dara doing this shit means that it lets 2NE1 off the hook for IBC participation which means that I don't have to see CL doing it out of perceived obligation to light it up and let it burn like we don't care.  For diving in front of that particular bullet for us all, Dara can have an 8.

Min talks in fluent English which is great but more importantly, she's wearing white.  Sadly she has a few layers on and her boobs seems fairly carefully strapped to her (also see Ailee) so not much is revealed when the water hits.  Still, she nominated Girls' Generation's Hyoyeon so that alone deserves an 8.
It must be sad times in idol-land when you don't even have a single friend you can call on to come over to your dorm and tip iced water on you.  Jia gets the job done anyway though with the help of a bathroom mirror and shows impressive strength by lifting a whole laundry tub of water over her head with little difficulty.  Pity about the T-shirt, which has some text that reads "there is something seriously boring" and I can only assume the rest of the words read "...about Ice Bucket Challenges that don't display boobs in the best possible light" but I mainly just feel sorry for her because she obviously has no friends so I'll give Jia an 8.  p.s I'll be your friend Jia, look me up.

Who is that person on Suzy's shirt?  Whoever it is they are very distracting.   Maybe it's a picture of Suzy in a few months when she finds this blog post and grimaces with disapproval, meaning that unlike phonies such as John Titor, Suzy has figured out the secret of time travel.  Even though her IBC is crap and not fappable at all I'll give her an 8 in the hope that maybe she can share her time travel techniques with us by taking herself back in time to 1 minute before this video was shot so she can put on a different shirt without a stupid face on it.

It's probably not the best marketing idea for Eunji to do the IBC while wearing a T-shirt with the word "generation" on it, lest it draw viewers' attention to certain other "gosh haven't they been disappointing lately" k-pop girl groups aside from Apink.  Eunji also is another idol lacking in friends to hold a bucket for her and seems to have trouble keeping it steady on her own.  Let's give her an 8 just because it might encourage her to go to the gym and hone her bucket-lifting skills some more.

It looks like the rest of Apink are equally in struggle-town when it comes to finding willing accomplices to splash them - is their agency really this short-staffed?  Even more disappointingly, they're all wearing black... someone needs to tell them how to do this shit right.  Mind you the girls in the back do have a nice shiny boobs-catching-the-light thing going on after they dump the water on themselves so I feel comfortable giving them an 8 for that.

Crayon Pop do the IBC and it's a bit of a failure in fapworthiness because after each girl gets the water dumped on her she spends the rest of the video hunched forward so I can't really see anything.   However I'm still going to give the most thugged-out girl group in k-pop an 8 just because I don't want to wake up with a horse's head in my bed tomorrow.

They're all wearing white, this is how it's done, folks.  However, where's Ahyoung?  The hottest member of Dal Shabet not being present is honestly unacceptable and so they only get an 8 for this despite their obviously superior wardrobe to most IBC participants.

Subin ups the ante on the rest of her group by not only wearing white but also undergoing multiple surprise JAV-newesreader-bukkake-style iced-water squirtings.  I can watch this and kind of squint a bit so I can't see her face properly and imagine that I'm watching my favourite JAV stars instead so Subin gets an 8 despite not really being my fave in the group.

Do I want to see Amber from f(x) do an IBC?  No.  Can I fap to Amber?  No.  Am I impressed that she called out miss A's Min and Eat Your Kimchi?  YES.  Amber gets an 8 for indirectly servicing the fapgods as well as showing great taste in female boobs not to mention essentially also confirming her much-rumoured lesbianism.  The only problem - it looks like we're going to be fighting over the same girls, and Amber's probably also a lot stronger than I am so that's a fight I'm probably gonna lose.  Damn.

Luna not only is looking great these days but shows determination to keep a straight posture while getting water tipped over her - impressive given that most of the other girls in these videos hunch over or freak out when confronted with the soaking.  Luna's new short hairstyle also works great here because it's not long enough to cover her boobs, another common problem with many IBC videos.  Luna receives a well-earned 8.

Whoever is doing the water for this one really must love/hate Sohyun, because they really let her have it, squirting her with such enthusiasm that I half expected the camera to pan over afterward to see some guys fapping.  If you're into those videos where Japanese guys suddenly appear and masturbate onto girls in public places before running off a few seconds later then this video might remind you of some of your favourite scenes.  Deserving of an 8, obviously.

Jiyoon looks like she's praying before she gets splashed here and it's obvious that she's not really digging this at all.  I consider it appropriate penance for that terrible 2Yoon song, the Australian 4minute gig being such a short sharp ripoff as well as "What's Your Name?" and all the other trash her group have released since 2013 so she gets an 8 here for this fap-friendly apology.

I was very impressed with Jihyun's rack when I watched 4minute in person so why she has to do the IBC wearing some of the baggiest, frumpiest shit seen on a Korean idol since Shindong donned a karate uniform I don't know.   She looks impressive anyway despite it all so I give her an 8 even if she (unbelievably) couldn't find anyone to squirt her.


Juniel may know how to use a Shure Super 55 correctly but she still hunches over like a leper when the iced water hits her, ensuring that fap value is drastically minimised.  She's nugu enough to have ignored the IBC completely however, plus she seems genuinely shell-shocked at the end of the video so she gets 8 just for being a sport and doing something that I'm sure was her pervy manager's idea.


The boring, sexually conservative concern-trolls that are k-pop's netizens didn't like Hyosung's IBC because they felt it was too sexually provocative.  A complete fucking joke of course when most western celebs did IBCs that looked like this, but netizens are never ones to let logic and facts get in the way of a good bit of female idol-bashing.  I agree with them on one point though - netizens say that Hyosung shouldn't have been wearing the black bra under the white t-shirt because it shows too much.  I agree with them, no bra at all would have been much better!  Hyosung still gets an 8 anyway for pissing off Internet idiots which is always good.

Jieun didn't make the same amount of waves as her groupmate because she chose the typically boring route of wearing black clothes during the nighttime (a theme often repeated during this list, unfortunately).  Still gets an 8 though because she's hot.

IU has been showing unprecedented amounts of boob volume lately, and her IBC is no exception - she certainly didn't look as busty in that nightie shot with Eunhyuk as she does these days.  Pity she's wearing a loose fitting t-shirt here instead of the black clingy stuff she's been rocking lately but I'll still give her an 8 just for throwing her "cute" image firmly to the winds and doing something that her career wouldn't have been able to withstand a couple years ago.

Already featured on Anti Kpop-Fangirl and for good reason, WaveYa might only be a dance troupe instead of a k-pop act but who's going to split hairs about that when we can instead split the Red Sea like Moses with the copious amounts of jizz that we'll be expurgating from our genitalia while fapping to this video.  Only an 8 though because I know there are more hot girls in WaveYa than this and why are they hiding from this.

The best bit of this video is the other girl who has the job of tipping the bucket over Chanmi's head.  She's so shaking with revenge juices that she struggles to even lift the bucket to head height, and after she's done walks off with such I-don't-give-a-shitatude that you just know that working as part of AOA's support staff has to be a right cunt of a job.  This video easily gets an 8 for revealing juicy behind-the-scenes tension (at least in my own mind).

Check out the big-ass shower cubicle where the girls are doing this.  That prison-style shower block could fit a lot of people in it at once.  Do you think that all the members of AOA get naked in there and shower together?  Do you think sometimes one of them drops the soap, and then Jimin bends down to pick it up because she's the shortest, and on the way back up she accidentally brushes against some genitals with her wrist and says "sorry, I didn't mean to" and then the other girl shoves her hand back down there and is like "no... keep doing that" and that's how k-pop orgies happen?  Actually I bet it's nothing like that at all, but I still think that it's a good idea for a k-pop-inspired porn film and that these two get an 8 for their inspirational fap power.

A last-minute addition to this post, Jimin's IBC was as difficult to find as Jimin herself at an elevator maintenance seminar for ex-basketballers but it was worth the effort to track down because it's actually in a radio station during a radio program which is totally giving me ideas about how viable this might be on-air if I have guests willing to comply.  Jimin can have an 8 just for this relevant inspirational factor alone despite her IBC being sadly low on fap content, why can't she have done this while in her "Miniskirt" outfits?

Park Jimin is 17 years old these days which is legal age where I live so that means she's also old enough to go into a Kpopalypse IBC fap post.  Pity she's wearing a black t-shirt and not any of the hot outfits in the "Sugar" video but she still can have an 8 because obviously she realises that there are guys out there like me who are complete chubby-chasers and really wanted to see her do this.


Chocolat are one of those groups that have been around for ages and that will never get anywhere.  Everyone has heard of Chocolat as "that group that has been around for ages and that I don't actually listen to but gee I like posting their 'Black Tinkerbell' song on forums just to troll", but that's okay because IBC is for nugus too!  Tia gets an 8 just for furthering the cause of nugu equal rights and no other reason.

Lizzy looks great doing her IBC, gets extremely wet, and even though she's wearing a black top it's still sheer enough to provide fap value.  Only problem with this video is that because she did an IBC, Raina didn't have to.  I'VE BEEN ROBBED!  Therefore Lizzy only gets an 8 despite her IBC's excellent quality.

Doing the IBC while wearing dark clothes, outdoors during the night?  This is definitely not doing it correctly.  I'm still gonna give her an 8 though because the people casually strolling by in the background make this video really surreal and entertaining.

This one's a bit crap, she barely gets any water on her.  Plus, it's in incorrect aspect ratio.  Still, boobs get wet, so 8.

Hyoyeon gets slapped with more buckets than a sandcastle builder's swapmeet, meanwhile BoA and Son Dam Bi hardly get any water on them at all but still look good so whatever.  8s for all.

Sooyoung is wearing some ridiculously sheer white shirt that becomes saturated and see-thru as soon as it gets with 100 metres of water - good work!  Pity that it's Sooyoung wearing it and not somebody else who I'd prefer to look at but I think she deserves an 8 just for setting a good example for other k-pop idols to follow.


Flanelette shirt, really?  You're in the world's biggest k-pop group, not Nirvana, you fucking twit - dress like it, dammit.  Still she does look cute anyway and this video made me realise just how often I confuse Yuri for Seohyun so it was educational for me and I think that's worthy of an 8.

Yoona looks good here (well, good by Yoona standards) and gets a double-bucket but this video is crap because it fades out before we even get to see the effect of the water.  Zero.

Possibly the most watched girl group IBC video of them all, Sunny's attempt was notorious because netizens commented that "her shirt doesn't get wet".  This is because netizens are pussies and they can't just come out and say what they mean which is "Sunny has ginormous boobies and I really noticed them because I'm obsessed with tits but I don't feel comfortable admitting that to myself".  Although this may be the perfect IBC video, Sunny is wearing black, plus the video may have given netizens some pleasure, so only an 8.


Minah has a firm commitment to iced water, dumping on her own head what seems to be the drip tray from her refrigerator.  Why's she on her own though, why isn't that sports jock boyfriend of hers soaking her?  Maybe he's too busy soaking Yura on the side.  Minah can have an 8 because even though she's wearing black so I can't see shit I still feel sorry for any girl so obviously being cheated on, especially after she worked so hard to get laid in the first place.

Of course, Bora had to do this wearing lame hip-hop clothes, that are black no less.  K-pop's favourite swimsuit wearing group should have their members able to do a bit better than this.  Look at the chubby dudes in this video tipping the buckets though.  See, you don't have to be super-fit to hang out with k-idols.  Bora gets an 8 for giving hope to fat fucks everywhere that they might get laid by an idol one day.

Hey doesn't Dasom look great here.  Obviously the people driving by in cars think so because they're all going super-slow like people do when they see an accident and pretend to go slow for safety reasons when really they're doing so because they want to see human flesh baked onto car radiators.   Wearing fucking black of course like 90% of these people but Dasom gets an 8 for revealing the ugliness of human nature in a fun way.

Soyou wears grey which shows up boobs a bit better than black, plus she looks cute in glasses.  Pity she didn't leave them on during the challenge, but she smacks herself on the head with the guard rail at 1:15, so that makes up for it and is worthy of an 8.

More nugu action and Wassup really freak out over the iced water, for a group that spends so much time courting South America I thought they'd be used to cooling off in the Braziliam sun with a few ice buckets... or maybe that's just their marketing working on me really well.  In any case they spend the whole time crouching or doubled up and you can't see anything but hey at least they did it even though they're more nugu than a packet of nugu crisps so have an 8.

At home in the bathtub, I guess Tiny-G really run on a shoestring because this is as homespun as the IBC your crazy friend at school did.  Still gets an 8 though for wearing the internationally recognised appropriate colour for wet t-shirts (white) - good work Dohee!

How fucking fast is Mint, this girl intros the challenge, nominates three people, gets squirted, screams a bit and shakes it all off in just 14 seconds without skipping a beat or even pausing to take a breath.  The video itself isn't much to look at (black and at night again wtf) but I'll give her an 8 just for the impressive speed that only a Korean pop idol with a ton of schedules per day in a foreign country (this was shot in Thailand) can muster.


Ferlyn, one of the Singaporean members from Skarf was called out by Tiny-G's Mint but actually does her video in the opposite style to Mint, making it as long-ass as possible.  She even fucks the whole ALS cause off, instead talking about a local Singaporean issue of helping out street dogs, effectively promoting two causes at once (because people will associate it with ALS anyway so they might donate to both) AND getting her boobs wet.  What a fucking champ, now that's thinking outside the square.   Only giving her an 8 though because this video is so bright that I can't even see what effect the water has, also the guy's bucket-tipping skills are really lame.  But she's still ace.


Baek Ji Young isn't much younger than I am, proving that it's okay for old fucks to do this shit too.  Anyway she's great, dressing appropriately and not wussing out.  However I can only give her an 8 because the aspect ratio of this video is so completely fucked that it's nearly unwatchable.  Why can't you kids who upload things to the Internet get this shit right?


These girls are hot... but AGAIN with the black clothes, outdoors at night, whyyyyyyyyyyyy.... I'll give them an 8 anyway just to encourage them to do better next time an Internet fad comes along involving wet shirts.


Too much white can sometimes be a bad thing - this is just a little too over-exposed so you can't really see any relevant detail.  The gratuitous squirting however is great so this still gets an 8.

Outdoors, at night, wearing dark clothes.  Did the trend for this hit Korea late at night and these idols with their ultra-insane schedules just couldn't fucking wait until the next day dawned for some sun to shoot with or what?   Still, they get an 8 because a T-shirt with Jesus on it gets wet which is like some sort of pervy k-pop baptism and hilarious.


Speaking of batshit crazy religious nutters, Sunye's currently being a missionary in Haiti poisoning the local population's minds by shoving down their throats some shitty organised religion nobody cares about but at least took the time out of her busy schedule of emotionally manipulating the locals to let some guys tip iced water over her head which is kind of cool and restores my faith in humanity slightly so have an 8, Sunye.


That little pan that Lim is holding doesn't really meet minimum required "bucket" standards, but then she probably knows this because video comments have been disabled.  There was probably a ton of "where's the bucket" comments she had to endure so I'll give her an 8 because I'm feeling sympathetic.


The shortest, crappiest IBC video ever - it's at night, outdoors, she's wearing black and it only goes for four fucking seconds... hell, I'm only taking it on good faith that it's even Sunmi in the video, for all I know it's some coffee-machine-changing intern with a similar hairstyle.  Still it's a pretty hot intern so have an 8 anyway, Sunmi or whoever you are.

Megan makes a point of showing you that there's ice in the water for those who care and also makes sure her song is playing in the background while she wets herself, now that's consideration and clever thinking!  She barely gets wet though but I'll give her an 8 just because she called out Park Jimin.


Kara's Seungyeon has obviously been reading Kpopalypse blog because she's wearing a correctly-proportioned striped top - however it's a bit too loose to get full marks so she only gets an 8.  Also a missed opportunity to pull her weight as a veteran member and make new member Youngji do the IBC.


Younha's IBC is so cube-heavy and with the cubes dropped from such a height that I'm amazed she didn't get concussed by the event, have an 8 for exhibiting cranial fortitude.


JuB is dressed really nicely for this shit with some sexy office wear.  The top is black though, plus it's at night - I'm convinced that this is some fap-prevention conspiracy.  Forget your Illuminatis and your One World Governments (and for those wanting me to blog about any of those wacko conspiracy nuts - no fucking way, Kpopalypse will not even consider it, let's not give those pieces of shit any more attention), it's the black tops for IBCs that we really need to fight.  8 anyway because she's a babe.


These two don't have JuB's fashion sense and of course they wear fucking black but at least they scream appropriately and seem to be going through discomfort which they totally deserve for wearing the wrong type of clothing for this, so they can have an 8 because justice is served.


LE looks great here.  How come she never looks anywhere near this good in any music videos?  This revelation is almost enough to compensate for the... once again... wearing black outdoors at night, so let's give her an 8 just to show that we care.  Also she didn't bust out a rap while getting soaked which is a plus.


Hani performs her IBC in the same setting as LE but wears something slightly more appropriate colour-wise, but less clingy.  The positives and the negatives counterbalance each other so it's only fair that she also gets an 8.


Hey this one's great - outdoors in the daytime, with a nice light-coloured top, several other IBCers could learn from this.  Pity the camera's so fucking far away that I can't even see anything.  Have an 8 anyway for at least getting most of the important points right.


A whole fucking nugu group decided to do the IBC, on a stage no less, while wearing "cute concept" (read: fap concept) clothing - that's white!  Rejoice!  PIty that the video fades out just a little too soon so we don't get to see much, but I'll still give this an 8.


The gods of luck were smiling on me the day that Simon and Martina played "rock paper scissors" to decide who was going to get the iced water on their head.  Martina lost so I got to see her boobs get wet AND lots of fanservicey slow-motion bouncing which I really appreciated.  However she's wearing the wrong fucking colour of course, I really wanted to give you guys a higher score than 8 to troll everyone because I know how much EYK divides opinions around these k-pop blogging parts but I'm sorry.  I can't do it.  You guys must try harder to give boob fanservice.  8 for you until you do a reshoot with a clingy white t-shirt (you know you want to, Martina - if you do one, so will I, I don't give a fuck that the trend has already died in the ass and the ALS foundation are probably now making two cents per day).


Clara did actually make a k-pop debut so she does count for this and it's just as well.  You can tell that Clara is a model with lots of experience under her belt (and over her belt) and she gets a 10 because she's a pro who shows everyone how it's done.  Light coloured top that is clingy, outdoors, during the daytime, doesn't hunch over when hit with the ice but realises that we're watching this to see her pert boobies get wet so she maintains good posture and looks unfazed.  She's probably done this already dozens of times.  Thank you Clara for showing the k-pop world that boobs matter.

---

Boobs were shown and money was raised to fight a terrible disease, it's a win/win strong enough to bring a tear to the eye.  That's all for now, rest assured that the next time some pervy trend sweeps the k-pop world, Kpopalypse will be there to cover it in unnecessarily creepy detail!

I DON'T HAVE TO WRITE SHIT, BUT I WILL AND SAY THAT HANI IS AS HOT AS FUCK! Junghwa is pretty hot, too. Just saying. BUT HANI! UNF!

 So there's going to be a Crayon Pop sub-unit and today 50% of it was revealed when Choa said:

“Ta-da! I can reveal that the first member of the Crayon Pop subunit is me, ChoA! We have been working very hard on the new subunit album. Please expect a lot! Who do you think the next member will be? That will be revealed tomorrow!”

While I'm legally obligated to keep a secret until tomorrow when it's officially revealed I can give you this clue. Her name starts with 'W' and ends in 'Y'. Well, now that's official I can tell you it's way Way. In case you couldn't figure it out from my hint.

Saw this on TV and at first I was like WTF then I was like LOOOOL

It's been called to my attention that my blogging has been noted by the Block B fan community, so here's a little story written by Kpopalypse especially with them in mind.  Although I could have written this about any group really, but I hope they enjoy it... or not.


You're a Block B fangirl living in Seoul, and you're 15 years old.  You're not one of those crazy fans, though... oh wait, yes you are.  You're actually completely crazy for them.  You don't feel crazy inside but you know you're kinda crazy because everyone keeps harping on about how obsessed you are with your idols, especially your favourites Block B!


Just the other day, your mother came into your bedroom to tell you something, you're not sure what it was because all you can remember about it was that she leaned on your life-size Block B poster, and it tore a little in the corner.  "Noooooo, my babies!" you cried, as your clumsy mother instantly flinched back - she's done this before and she knows how you get about the posters.  Luckily it was just a small tear in the corner, it could have been much worse - but you felt violated somehow.  Nobody has the right to touch your posters but you!  As you sobbed and carefully applied new adhesive to the poster corner, your mother walked out of the room muttering something about "they mean more to you than your own family"... which isn't true.  Well, it is but it isn't.  You'll always love your parents, there's no doubt about that, but there's also a special place in your heart reserved just for Block B, that nobody else can come close to; parents, friends, not even boyfriends.  You only ever had one boyfriend and when he came into your room and sat on your bed and was talking to you, you were staring at the picture of Block B's Jaehyo behind him on the wall and thinking "if only my boyfriend's jaw was a little squarer like Jaehyo's...".  He noticed your distant gaze and asked if you were okay.  You apologised and said "I'm just looking at Jaehyo, don't you think he's pretty?" He called you crazy and left.  Maybe he's right but you don't care.  He doesn't see you anymore, and you're fine with that - he didn't measure up anyway.


A fangirl's life is a busy life.  A typical day for you commences with getting up extra early and getting on the Internet so you can see what's happening for Block B that day.  The unofficial Block B forum that you follow has an anonymous person who claims to be "on the inside" and who posts detailed daily schedules of the group's activities every morning.  The person must be legitimate, because the schedules are never wrong, and many forum members who are just as keen as you rely on the information to keep close tabs on what the group are doing and stalk them massively.  You then swap messages with other fans and chat about all things Block B related, including how impossibly great their new music is, how dreamy all the guys are, and most importantly if there's any events happening close to your location where you can go and catch a glimpse of the guys.  Then it's off to school for the day, where you keep your mobile phone handy just in case there's some surprise activity from the group or the fandom that you need to know about, because you can't be too careful.  You'll willingly skip school for a chance to see your idols, if it's a good one where you can get really close to them.  (Block B did a short notice fan-meeting once in a park near your school and you missed it because you were at school and your phone was out of charge - you won't make that mistake twice!)  Once school is over it's back home in the evening and then checking out any Block B news or variety show appearances before bedtime... or if Block B are doing something near you, you'll go and stalk them, you've even caught sasaeng taxis a couple of times, but that's expensive so you only do it if it's really critical.  This has been the pattern of your life ever since you became a Block B fan two years ago, and you're happy with how things are progressing, because you've already gotten to see your idols a few dozen times.  You can tell from the looks some of them give you that they are actually starting to know your face!

Today you woke up feeling especially excited - it's the day that Block B come back from Japan!  They've been promoting over there recently for some unknown reason, you don't really know why groups spread themselves thin like that, you wish they'd just stay in Korea because then they're closer to you.  It's good that they're coming back, but you've heard they're going back to Japan again the very next night and the thought pains you - it's tough being a fangirl when your oppas are overseas.  You're still feeling positive today though - you live very close to the airport, and they're arriving late tonight so you'll definitely get to see them.

Your daily ritual begins with some checking of recent messages on your favourite Block B forum:

OMGUkwon: You don't know how much I'm spazzing right now!!  Like...OMG!  Block B are back!

Zicoismylife: Okay I can't help but fanboy over Block B, I just discovered them and I can't help not to fall in love with Zico and P.O. - by especially Zico!  Where have I been?

BlockBfan326: Wow, we're so lucky to have them back.  Everyone support them and vote on their music shows!

VeryGood81: My feels, I know they're only back for a day but I have to buy Block B stuff now to show my support - next time I hope they stay for longer but they go away again soon, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ;o;

POfap: I'm definitely going to be at the airport.  I can't wait - P.O. is so gorgeous, I hope he sees me this time!

BlockB4eva: IF I DON'T GET TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THEM IN THE FLESH I COULD DIE

Yoloswag420: The JAV industry pays more than the k-idol industry, that's why they're over there, they're cumdumpstering some Japanese whores.  There's a shortage of male JAV stars, so the companies gotta import the talent.

Herherher: How can I stop myself fangirling... my ovaries hurt!  They're going to do a fanmeet tomorrow as well - nothing could keep me away from that!

So much spazzing!  The mood among the fandom is definitely ecstatic.  You think about leaving a message saying that you're also going to meet Block B at the airport tonight, but you decide against it.  Maybe some of the others will forget about it if you say nothing, and less other fans there means that you'll stand out more and it'll be easier to push through the crowds.  You'll post about it tomorrow instead, and show off pictures, then everyone on the forum who missed out will realise that you're the biggest Block B fan, and that will make you happy.  You wonder for a moment if any Block B members actually check the forum, maybe if they do, they'll see it too!  Maybe you'll get a message from one of them - that would be amazing!  The thought warms your heart.

School hours are long and the day goes very slowly, it always does when you know you're going to see Block B that night somewhere.  It's hard to concentrate on your studies, especially during algebra because they always use the letter B and of course that just makes you think of Block B and then you drift off and forget what the teacher is saying.  Eventually the sun sets and it's time to go back home.  Your phone hasn't rung all day - on the bus home you pull out your mobile phone (with a shiny pink Block B case that you're very proud of) and check the Internet for the daily Block B schedule, just to make sure nothing has changed:

*** TODAY'S BLOCK B KOREAN SCHEDULE - GET READY TO SPAZZ ***
22:10 - arrival at Incheon International Airport, gate 45 - warning, will be crowded!
22:35 - arrival at dormitories
*** END ***

That's all it says - the Japanese portion of their schedules earlier that day before the flight isn't listed.  Usually there's a bigger list of Korean appointments, but it makes sense that they would just go straight to their dorms and get some sleep after a long flight.

There's no way that your mother would let you go out and see Block B at the airport, so after dinner you tell her that you're having an early night so you can get a big day of study in tomorrow, then you go to your bedroom, turn out the lights and climb out the window.   She won't check - once she opened the door suddenly and caught you with your skirt half down mid Jaehyo-fap (you tried to play it off like you were just getting undressed and your hand was stuck in the skirt zip but you're pretty sure she knew what was really going on), ever since then she's stopped coming into your bedroom at night time.  You head off down the street and begin the 30 minute walk to the airport.

The airport is a huge curved structure but you're familiar with it, having been here many times before, mainly chasing Block B around.  As you pass through security you notice that the terminal monitors say that Block B's flight has already landed.  You pick up the pace and run straight to the gate where Block B should be arriving at any minute.  As you get closer, you can see that the terminal is thick with fans and photographers... they're already here!


You push your way through the crowds, run straight up to the security cordon line and stop.  You know not to extend beyond the line - fangirls who do that get smacked down harshly by airport security, experience is a great teacher of that!  Instead you stay put and immediately start spazzing and jumping up and down on the spot:

"BLOCK B I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU!  LOOK OVER HERE, NOTICE ME OPPAS!" you scream at the top of your lungs.

It works!  The entire group all stop and look at you at once.  Well, you think they're looking at you, most of them are wearing dark sunglasses.  You then notice P.O. get called off by an offsider, he walks over to the side and something is whispered in his ear:


A nod is exchanged, and then the man in the blue jacket reaches for something in P.O.'s black travel bag.  It's a small, shiny black object, you can't quite see what it is from that distance.  The man in blue then throws it at you - hard!  You try to catch it, but it all happens too quickly - the object glances across the side of your head, causing you to flinch in pain, and skates across the floor a few metres behind you amongst the crowds.  Damn, that really hurts!  Holding your left temple which you can feel is already starting to bruise, you quickly get on your knees and scurry across the floor to pick up the object before anyone else does... you've seen Block B in person many times now, but this is the first time Block B have given you a gift.  Finding the object, some kind of metal black square, you stash it in your bag quickly, you can examine it properly later.  You race back to the cordon line to see Block B and say thank you but it's too late... they've already made it to the other end of the arrivals lounge.  You wonder if it's a new tactic - create a distraction by throwing something interesting so the fans leave the idols alone giving them time to escape.  Oh well, you're happy to receive the gift, and you might just need to train your reflexes and bring a baseball glove to airports from now on.

That night, you arrive home, climbing back in through the bedroom window.  You sit on your bed and take the metal object out of your bag.  Now you can really inspect it properly!


It's a small metal folding hand mirror with the Block B logo, what a cute little gift!  You open up the metal hinges and take a look at yourself in the mirror's reflection.  Wow, that guy really got you a good one, you can see the tender swelling red bump on the side of your head very clearly using this.  The pain is making your head throb though and it's difficult to concentrate on anything so you put the mirror on your bedside bookcase for now and drift off to sleep.


The next morning, you wake up, sit up in bed and immediately look to your bedside bookcase.  The mirror is still there, what a relief!  Last night was so surreal that you weren't entirely sure if it actually happened, but the presence of the mirror reassures you that it did, as does the swelling on your head which has thankfully receeded slightly. You boot up your laptop and begin your morning ritual of checking messages on the Block B forum.  You decide to make a post:

I saw Block B last night at the airport, they were so dreamy!  They are all so hot, I could die!  P.O. also gave me a gift, a little fan mirror!

You take a selca with yourself and the mirror - and your bruise - and attach it to the post (because people don't believe anything these days), then you open up the mirror beside you on the bed and look at your reflection as you type.  Sure, it's only a cheap fan mirror but it's actually from Block B to you so it's imbued with specialness and magic.  You refresh the forum page, the replies have already come flooding in:

BlockBfan326: WOW, you're so lucky! What an incredible blessing! :D :D :D

IloveKyungggg: I saw you - did you get hit in the head?  What an honour to be physically touched by Block B!

VeryGood81: That's amazing, I'm spazzing so hard thinking about how spazzing you must be!  Please show it to me at school!  We can spazz togheterSGEOIGNDSJGHLEIHNLIW

Yoloswag420: You got hit in the head by oppa - sucked in, bitch.

POfap: It's not fair.  P.O. threw that mirror at ME, you dived in front of me and caught it first.  That mirror is rightfully mine.  -_-

What a liar that last responder is!  Feeling a sense of indignation building, you start to draft a reply when suddenly you're distracted by a stabbing pain in your leg.  You look over and notice a small card on your bed digging into your thigh.  You pick it up, it's a business card from a gift shop retailer... you have plenty of these, they often come with Block B merchandise.  It must have fallen out of the mirror when you opened it, you were certainly in a lot of pain last night so it's little wonder you didn't notice it.  You flip the card over... there's something written on the back...
You do as the card instructs - sure, it seems silly but well, why wouldn't you?  You don't know what a "quantum-multiverse project" is supposed to mean, but it's got something to do with Block B, so that means you're in!  You touch the mirror surface and hold your hand there, slowly counting for 30 seconds and waiting... but nothing happens.    Well, that was anticlimactic, and now you feel like an idiot... but maybe you're just "more connected" to Block B somehow.  Hmmm.  You go back to drafting your response to that lying fangirl who says she was supposed to have the mirror, but wait a second... she's not saying that at all.  In fact, all of the responses are now different:

BlockBfan326: That's nice that they gave you a gift!  I'm happy for you!  :D :D :D

IloveKyungggg: I saw you - did you get hit in the head?  I hope you sought prompt medical attention for that injury!  It still looks very bad on your selca!

VeryGood81: Next time I see you at school, I'd love to see the present.  It looks very nice, I've always thought about getting a mirror like that but I wondered if they were worth the money for what they are.  After all it's not like I would spend too much extra on a mirror just because it has a Block B logo on it so I hope the workmanship is good enough to justify the extra they're charging on that website.

Yoloswag420: You got hit in the head by oppa - sucked in, bitch.

POfap: P.O. threw that mirror in my direction, I thought it was going to hit ME right in the face!  I'm lucky that you dived over and deflected it, because it sure looks like it would have hurt!  You probably saved me a trip to the hospital, thank you so much!  Why did they throw it so dangerously though?  It's a solid metal object!  Do they have no regard for our safety?

That's odd.  Did they all edit their replies - or were you just not reading them correctly the first time?  Oh well, at least you don't need to send that reply anymore.  You delete your draft and check Block B's schedule for the day.

*** TODAY'S BLOCK B KOREAN SCHEDULE ***
10:00 - Weekly idol (pre-record session)
14:00 - Music Core (pre-record session)
18:00 - Fanclub meet and greet *** CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST ***
20:00 - Starry Night Live Radio
22:00 - Departure to Japan
*** END ***

There's usually a lot more detail than this "departure to Japan" - what gate?  Where's the address information that they always post for the other events?  It's a good thing that you already know where everything is through prior experience.  Also, why doesn't it say "get ready to spazz", that's like the schedule-poster's trademark!  And what's with "lack of interest"?  Surely not!  You make a reply:

Why was the fanclub meet cancelled?  "Lack of interest" seems like a lie.  We had heaps of people going!  Any why aren't there any details like there usually is?  At least give us addresses and gate information!

After a few minutes the replies come in:

IloveKyungggg: I don't know about others, but I decided against it.  I've already seen Kyung a bunch of times.  He seems like a nice guy as far as I can tell but I'm meeting my boyfriend around that time and well, you know... priorities.

Zicoismylife: Honestly last time I met them they were a little rude.  Mind you they're probably under a lot of stress and pressure, especially with the amount of schedules they have these days I can't blame them for showing it a little.  It's probably best for them to take a break from fan meetings until their activities calm down.  Really, the industry is to blame.  They're just kids like us when you think about it.

POfap: I'd like to meet P.O. again but let's not be selfish.  It's a tough job being an idol and we should give them some time out.

Yoloswag420: They won't meet any of you because they've already seen your faces and you're all ugly sluts.  They'll probably use that time to bang some trainees.

Herherher: They can meet us and be nice to us but it's not like we'll ever get to know them properly.  We don't know the reality of what they're really like, just the face that they have to show in public.  They can't really be themselves so it hardly seems worth it to meet them again and again if they can't reveal anything further, it just means more pointless busywork for them signing our things and pretending to be happy when they've had a long day of work.  I saw them once, that's enough for me to be happy that I got to meet some people who I admire.

The person who posts the daily schedule lists also weighs in with a reply:

BlockBSchedule: We don't publish sensitive info like exact locations and gate information out of respect for privacy of the members.  We never have done this.

Liars, that's definitely a change in policy from yesterday.  Taking a deep breath, you close your laptop.  What's with everybody, why have they all gone so... weird?  You just don't get it.  You look around your room and suddenly notice something even more disturbing - your posters are GONE.  All 76 of them (yes you kept track).  You swear you remember seeing them when you woke up only a few minutes ago... or did you?  What is this?

"MUUUUM! " you cry out.

You hear "Just a second, honey" from the other room.  A few seconds later, your mother opens the bedroom door and walks in.  "What is it, dear?".

"Where are all my posters?  What did you do with them?"

"What posters, dear?"

Your mother looks confused, but you're not having any of it.  "MY BLOCK B POSTERS!  THEY WERE ALL OVER THIS WALL!  WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM?".  You start to sob.

"But... you never had any posters up here.  What are you talking about?"

You're speechless and inconsolable. You try to say something but you can't.

Your mother continues - "I know that I once suggested that you might like to put some of your favourite k-pop groups up, but you said no because you didn't want to mark the walls, but... oh god honey, what is that lump on your head?"  Your mother suddenly notices and stares at the lump on the side of your head, very concerned.  "That's right on your temple, it looks very dangerous, I'm taking you straight to the doctor!"

Your mother leaves the room, to prepare to take you to the doctor's office.  You grab the mirror, put it in your bag, get dressed and make your way out the front door before she can do anything about it.  Your mother sees you leave the house and calls after you to come back, but you're so upset that you don't even register or react... you just start running.  After running a few streets, you take your phone out of your bag.  Time to dial a sasaeng taxi - only meeting Block B in person will be able to get you out of your slump.  You press the speed dial number that you've previously saved for your favourite sasaeng taxi company.

"Hello?"  A female voice answers.  You recognise it, but it's not the usual voice, it sounds... quite casual, not very call-centreish...

You take a deep breath and try to curtail your sobbing enough to speak.  "Hello, is this Block B Sasaeng Taxis?"

"Who?  What?" Wow, that voice is very familiar...

You repeat: "Block B Sasaeng Taxis?"

"Are you crazy?  What are you talking about?  Come back home!"  The penny drops.  You've dialed your mother.  But how?

You look at the phone... it's definitely your phone.  But where's your pink sparkly Block B case?  This is just a normal phone case.  But... it's your phone, you can tell by the scratches on the front which are in the same places as they've always been.  You go to your address book - all your phone numbers are there, as far as you can tell.  What's going on?  That's the last thought you have as you pass out in the middle of the street.

You wake up.  You're back in your bedroom, lying down on your bed.  Your mother is here.  There's also a man here, in a white coat.  He's obviously a doctor, he's wearing a stethoscope around his neck and he smiles briefly when your eyes meet his.  He's examining the lump on your head, which doesn't hurt that much... you do feel a general dizziness however.

"She's awake.  Might be some kind of brain damage." he remarks.

Your mother nods.  "She's certainly been acting differently.  I've never seen anything like this from her.  She's usually such a good kid"

"She's possibly still concussed.  The best thing for now is to rest it, we won't know the full extent of the damage until the concussion has passed.  Let her get some more sleep."

The doctor and your mother both give you concerned stares and leave the room.  You feel very dizzy and drift back off to sleep, noticing that there are still no posters on your wall.


You wake up.  From the lack of light in your bedroom (still sans posters), it's night time.  You must have slept all day!  Your head doesn't hurt that much anymore.  Your first thought - what's the time?  Block B might have left the country already without you even seeing them!  You boot up your laptop and check the time, there's only 20 minutes left until they leave!  Looks like you'll have to taxi it.

You quickly check the Block B forum to see if anything has changed:

*** TODAY'S BLOCK B KOREAN SCHEDULE ***
10:00 - Weekly idol (pre-record session)
14:00 - Music Core (pre-record session)
18:00 - Fanclub meet and greet *** CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST ***
20:00 - Starry Night Live Radio
22:00 - Departure to Japan
*** END ***

Still the same, that's a relief.  You look at some of the recent threads.  There's a post about their Music Core appearance.  Apparently Block B lost to EXO.  You read some replies:

OMGUkwon: Congratulations to EXO!

Zicoismylife: I really wanted my faves Block B to win but I'll admit that EXO tried hard, plus they had the better song.

BlockBfan326: Block B did a good effort but EXO performed better in the end.

POfap: It's tough to beat anything from SM Entertainment.  They've been in the idol game longer than the other labels, they're more entrenched.  Not that it really matters who wins these things, it's all just promotion.

BlockB4eva: Block B's new songs are the problem.  They really need a lift in songwriting quality, they don't have the catchy songs like Nalina and Nalili Mambo anymore.  Let's be honest, their new material is a mess.  If they had debuted with Jackpot nobody would have cared about them.

Yoloswag420: Block B just suck, admit it you losers.  That's why they're called Block B, not Block A.  Always coming second.

VeryGood81: I felt like Block B were just going through the motions, but it's not their fault - they're being pushed too hard.  You can't realistically expect someone to fly in at night after non-stop Japanese schedules with barely any rest and then take out #1 spots on music shows the next morning.

ZicZicZico: Congratulations to EXO for a clean win.  I'm glad that they only use judges with industry experience like professional singers and choreographers to determine the winners on TV idol shows.  They've been talking about bringing in fan voting and ranking-by-sales but I think everyone agrees that's a bad idea, including fans.  After all, fans appreciate that the people with the highest aptitude, best songs and best performances on the day should always win, regardless of how many people support them or any other factors.  There's no point to these things otherwise, if they're going to add elements to make it more of a popularity contest they might as well just make it a simple TV concert instead and get rid of the competitive aspect completely.  Which I wouldn't mind at all, actually - but if you're going to have a competition, do it right.

Wow, how conciliatory.  Where's the righteous indignation that your fandom usually demonstrates?  What's happened to the fandom?  It's like you don't even know these people anymore.  You know that Block B should have won Music Core... even though you haven't seen it yet, they're always flawless because they're your faves.  No time to think about that for now though, it's time to meet Block B at the airport!  You get organised, sneak out the window, run down the street and take out your phone (still with just a normal phone case) to dial the sasaeng taxi number - this time, not with the speed dial but through the address book.  You scroll through the list of contacts, but you can't find it anywhere - what happened to it?  No time to search, fortunately the street is busy and normal taxis are everywhere, so you wave one down.  It'll have to do.


You get in as fast as you can and throw some money into the front seat - more than enough to cover the fare.

"Incheon - quickly!"

The taxi driver complies and speeds off.  You find that normal taxis will drive nearly as fast as sasaeng drivers if you pay them enough, as long as the trip is short.

"You are in quite a hurry.  What is the rush?" asks the driver.

"Block B" you reply.

"What is a Block B?"

Sigh.  "They're an idol group.  I want to see Block B but don't have my sasaeng taxi number."

"Oh.  But what is a sasaeng taxi?"

How can a taxi driver of all people not know what a sasaeng taxi is?  Those guys are their main competition!  Oh well, whatever.  "Never mind.  Just be quick, please", you tell the driver.

Thankfully it isn't long before you reach the airport.  You get out of the taxi, and move through security to the gates as fast as possible.   But which gate are they at?  The forum didn't say.


You try and work out the most likely gate by departure times and destinations.  The airport is strangely quiet as you run up and across the huge walkways.  Eventually you find them, just as they are boarding.


It's weird.  There's no cordon line to keep fans back apart from the standard one that all boarding flights use to form a queue for boarding pass checking.  There's a couple of photographers here, but no screaming fans at all, the boarding is peaceful and quiet with the group casually chatting to both each other and airline staff as they present boarding passes.  Oh well, that just means that if you scream they'll definitely hear you!

"BLOCK B I LOVE YOU!  NOTICE ME, OPPAS!"

They sure do - all members of the group instantly flinch back.  Not only Block B but everyone else in the immediate vicinity all turn to look at you.  You take the mirror out of your bag.

"I got your gift, P.O.!  What does it do?"  You hold the mirror up to P.O.

P.O. looks at the mirror, confused.  "It's... a mirror?"

Zico starts laughing.  Under his breath you can hear him chuckle to the other members "Jesus Christ... what a dumb bitch.  Do people like this even exist?"  Some of the rest of the group start smiling.

"But what about the... " you struggle to find the words "...quantic-thingy?  Isn't it meant to do something?"

P.O. shrugs.  "It's a mirror.  You can see yourself in it.  Try it sometime.  Now if you'll excuse us, we've got a plane to catch."

The members of Block B shuffle off through the boarding gate.  You watch them leave and then look at the mirror.  You can see your face, with a bruise on one side gradually getting better, and you can also see someone coming up behind you.  It's your mother.  Suddenly you feel someone grabbing you.  "I can't believe what's gotten into you today, you're acting like a crazy person", she exclaims as she frog-marches you out of the airport with the help of airport security.  The humiliation is unbearable.


It's been a while since you entered your new home, it hasn't been easy to adjust.  There's not much in the way of school or learning here, and you don't have to make any meals or do any chores, but there's also no Internet and only strictly regulated contact with the outside world so it's extremely lonely.  Doctors visit often, and your mother visits every day at the same time, she cries often and tries to explain to you how you can come home as soon as you change back... but back to what?  You don't understand - you swear it's everything else which has changed, while you and your love of Block B has remained constant.

It's funny because there are two shower blocks in the ward, also called A and B.  Sometimes you go into shower "block B", press your hand against the full-sized mirror and wait for 30 seconds.  And again.  And again.