It's Maaaaay~
And you know what that means! LESBIAN FANFICTION.
You see the official flower of May is the Lily of the Valley.
Lily is Yuri in Japanese.
Yuri is slang for Lesbian.
LESBIAAANS.
With that mess out of the way let me explain what's going to happen.
For the month of May, I will only review fanfictions with girlxgirl. Do not try to suggest any to me as they have all been pre-picked. Also, my birthday is in the middle of May, so all of the characters I chose for this month are k-pop girls that I personally enjoy.
So let's start this off with a fanfic called “Hopeless” featuring the lovely Eunjung. I really like Eunjung and a yuri pairing of her with the Cyclops sounds amazing. How do you mess this up?
Oh fuck me.
I am apparently absolute shit at picking stories as this one was yet another crime against the English language.
There's so much misspelling and tense errors that it makes my head hurt. The “Make Readable” button solves nothing! Why is it even there? Is it taunting me?
NO... This was too much. It's only the second paragraph.
ABORT
ABORT
ABORT.
Comments
Noooo no no NO no nnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooo.
NO THANKS.
This is one of the fics that I demand everyone to try and read if only to see how far they make it before they call upon Kali to release her wrath on the heathens.
Make a drinking game out of it.
Take a shot of vodka every time a word is misspelt or used wrongly. Write a suicide note in advance explaining your inevitable alcohol poisoning, that it was all in sacrifice to k-pop. Tell your grief stricken family to go on a worldwide manhunt for the author and film them being tortured, exploitation style. Remind them to distribute it, blackmailing all future fanfiction writers of the ultimate situation if they continue this assault on humanity.
Do it for me.
Do it for The Duchess.
Your sacrifice will not be in vain.