[Review] f(x)'s "Red Light"

I have never, ever been more mortified by a song since SNSD released that tragic rhapsody entitled "I Got a Personality Disorder Boy", but f(x) have taken the cake when it comes to "Red Light". Listening to "Red Light" is like having a high powered, electric drill in my ear whilst listening to a castrated goat attempting to Yodle with a side of Princess Peach being bludgeoned to death by Luigi Mario. It took me a whole a hour to  gather my scrambled brains together after putting myself through the voluntary torture of listening to this song so I could bring you all this review and heed warning as to what you might encounter if you do press "play" on the above video.

I am here to lead you not into temptation, but deliver you from evil.



"Red Light" combines all the aneurysm-inducing aspects of IGAB and 2NE1's "Come Back Home", which wouldn't sound so diabolically bad if they didn't pump it up on Molly. The song lacks any form of cohesion and is a convoluted mess - it's basically another one of SM's failed attempts at emulating Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". But, as seen with I Got a Brain Disorder and Ulf, the song is utter dog piss.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that this is SM's second attempt at making IGAB, because f(x) have been releasing this sort of dementor shit for a long time, but before it actually worked as there was some cohesiveness to their songs. This, this is just a mess. SM have finally succeeded in releasing something more awful than Kyrary Pamyu Pamyu's "Candy, Candy", which was nauseatingly bad. This song leaves me feeling like a dementia patient.

The pre-chorus and bridge were really wasted on this song and could have made an entirely different, but listenable, track.

Audio aside, the music video is like some sort of devil-worshipping, satanic shit that I just LOVE. The girls look great, and even Amber doesn't look repugnant because her styling and the music videos settings prevent her from sticking out like a sore thumb. I suggest watching the music video on mute because the girls look hot (especially Victoria, I wish I had her legs they are amazing). Luna's hair cut, weight loss and boob job also really added to the visuals of the music video.

I AM JUST SO GLAD THAT SM STUCK WITH ORIGINAL CONCEPT, BECAUSE FUCK IS IT GOOD!

Sadly though, the song fucking sucks and I will be sure to delete it once I download the album. Now, if the album isn't as good (or better than "Pink Tape") I am hitting the SM building with a helluva lot of TNT. I'll make sure to hit e*o whilst I'm on my jihad.

Here are some smoking hot gifs of f(x) slaying everything to oblivion.

CHINESE QUEEN OF THE WORLD

HEXING!

APOCALYPSE IS NOW!

F(SLAY)

STEP ALL OVER ME, QUEEN VICTORIA!