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Music Bank hates women and/or is controlled by jealous bitches

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This is the important part. More after the break.


You see that? You know what that is? It's a beautiful thing. It's a lovely woman with a lovely body. That's all. She's not doing anything exceptionally sexual, and certainly not compared to what all the top girl groups are doing with their asses, but KBS decided that move had to go and made them change it to this.


Now, between these two moves, there is little difference aside from the fact that in the former her boobs are bouncing out front. Her completely covered boobs, mind you. Yes, she has a slight movement of undress, but it is only her jacket, and this is nothing compared to the highly sexual flashing of the inner thighs that Girl's Day is doing right now uninhibited. So basically, Serri gets her choreo changed because she is a woman with a desirable womanly body.

You can bet your ass that if Taeyang wanted to have a special stage involving him shirtless and flexing his muscles in crotch-flattering pants humping the floor they would allow it. They made Serri change her part (which she likes, by the way, if you watch her in the fancam) simply because she is a woman and KBS is afraid of that OR of the jealous bitches who call them up to complain because their tits aren't as nice as Serri's.


Han Hyo Joo For Viki

Kojima Haruna

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Do I even need to justify myself at this point in the blog's life when I post hot chicks from Japan, China and Taiwan? Nope, didn't think so. 

I generally don't pay attention to AKB48, but damn, Kojima Haruna is a goddess, has amazing tits, and most importantly, has straight teeth. The teeth are the most important when it comes to a Japanese idol. Nothing makes me flaccid quicker than seeing teeth only a hillbilly that chews tobacco all day would love.




A million thanks to Lin for linking all of these pictures to me.

And I'm praying to God that Haruna goes into JAV, or at least gravure modeling, or at the very least "acting" once she graduates from AKB48.




We're (Supposedly) Pro-Anorexia

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For those that regularly read the comments, you probably know who wrote this. For those that don't, here:





Yes, everyone's problems in the world are all my fault.

President Obama using drones to kill innocent people in Pakistan? My fault.
The economy still sucking ass in 2014? My fault.
The black unemployment rate being much higher than the national average? My fault.
The reason why Muslims and Jews can't get along? My fault.
The reason why gay people can't get married? My fault.
The obesity epidemic in America? My fault.
The reason the government won't allow fracking to expand and grow the economy? My fault.
The reason why Apple sucks? My fault.
The reason why so many Kpop stars have to get plastic surgery? My fault.
The reason why G Dragon smokes weed? My fault.
The reason why Daesung ran over someone? My fault.
The reason why Seungri loves to jizz on titties? My fault.
The reason why Nicole and Jiyoung left Kara? My fault.
The reason why Hyoyeon gets called ugly? My fault.
The reason why Jiyeon gets called Cyclops? My fault.
....
Okay, that last one may actually be my fault.

The opinions of nine assholes on the Internet that you don't even know shouldn't affect you. Just because I would rather have sex with Han Ye Seul than Roseanne Barr shouldn't be the basis of why you're anorexic. If you truly have issues, go seek help instead of blaming some random asshole on the Internet for all of your problems.


Han Ye Seul is essentially the root of all evil when it comes to anorexia in this world.

What a bitch.


Thus Spake Yennythustra

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Everyone and their mothers know that JYP is probably floundering at the moment, both financially and prestige-wise. None of their artists have done anything of note recently, and especially considering Kpoppalypse's helpful guide to idol finances, they haven't media-played about any new CF deals or outstanding sponsors either. Netizens are quick to dumpster on the state of JYP, believing they no longer deserve a place at the table of the Big Three (formerly SM, YG, and JYP).

All in all, pretty grim, amirite. NOW, WE CAN ONLY TRUST IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BASED YENNY TO DELIVER JYP

I just wanted an excuse to make this shitty edit. l0l


How can she do this, you ask? With jjangbak business decisions, that's how.
Wonder Girls' Yenny thinks Yubin and miss A's Fei would make an awesome subunit! 
During the LINE chat that JYP Entertainment label had on the 18th, the artists talked about certain project units that they'd like to see actually happening. During the talk, she said, "I think if Yubin and Fei have a unit, they'd look good together. We talked about this before. If Yubin and Fei do a unit, the two members have dark skin, so we think they'll look very sexy." 
Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. Let's just ignore the racial subtext about dark skin bubbling under the surface there to focus on the real important thing.

YUBIN + FEI? IN A SUBUNIT?

YES PLEASE.

I (almost) wouldn't even care how bad their song is, so long as they get a jjangbak concept + pictoral I could die happy. Sure there wouldn't be too much vocal acrobatics involved, but if they keep it simple or do a nice dance track, THIS COULD BE THE SHIT.

JYP, if you know what's good for you, listen to the Prophet Yenny.

RE: AKF's Wrongdoings

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This post may be too long for some, so enjoy watching this video of Aragaki Yui, who is disgustingly thin and has no tits and ass. I have no idea why I find her attractive when she doesn't have the ideal 36-24-36 body. She doesn't have a high nose bridge or a V-shaped face. I should hate this bitch that I find extremely cute, right? Since Gakki doesn't fit into some other asshole's standards that aren't my own, I should hate her.

I'll sprinkle in some pictures of Aragaki Yui if this is too long for you.

For those out of the loop, this post is in response to this post.



First, she says it's my fault for her dieting and losing 20 pounds. I didn't hold a gun to her head and threaten to make Shindong sit on her face and suffocate her if she didn't lose 20 pounds. Again, this is simply shifting blame from oneself to another as a self-defense mechanism.

When you only grade yourself based on personality and are trying to get the D, of course only sleazy guys are going to be into you. Sure, guys do value looks, but it's not the only thing guys look for in women. If we solely cared about looks, we would be content jacking it to Internet porn for our whole lives, since we wouldn't need anything else. Sure, in real life, I can easily admit being sexually attracted to women, saying stuff like "I'd pee in her butt," but that's just on a superficial level, and I actually didn't like those women. Considering that when a man is with a woman, they're not going to be having sex 24/7 and the woman won't be walking around the house/apartment/cardboard box naked all day every day. There's a personality factor that is just as important, and with your self-loathing, you're not going to attract any guys. You can't be entitled to think that you deserve to have a relationship. Getting into a relationship takes work and it isn't something that happens like in TV shows and movies. Happiness is something that takes a lot of work. It is easy to be miserable and blame others for everything. I used to be the same way when I was your age because it is easy to blame one's shortcomings on everything else but oneself.

Allowing yourself to be defined by others is a very damaging thing, and it is something prevalent in our society. Back in high school, my whole identity was defined by others, and that was because I allowed it. I was labeled things as a genius, human calculator, asshole, hilarious, ugly (more on this in a bit), among other things, but those things weren't necessarily my definitions of myself. I always placed #1 or close to it back in high school (my graduation class was just 85 people, so we're talking about a really small pool), and I hardly had to work at anything while I was in school, easily getting the top grades in school while spending most of my time in class sleeping, writing rap lyrics (I used to do that for AKF too, might have to bring that back) and drawing comics (as evident by my masterpiece MS Paint pictures I have drawn here). Math was my best subject in high school, and back then, I had zero problems with it, so people called me crap like a human calculator. I was called hilarious and an asshole because I could easily make jokes about anyone that I wanted to, so some people found it hilarious and others thought it was extremely mean. I attribute that to watching too much Chappelle's Show and South Park in high school. I used to be referred to as ugly, though I don't think of myself as ugly and I guess the people who watch my livestream don't consider myself as ugly as they've tuned in about a dozen times. Seeing as how they didn't gouge their eyes out, I must not be that bad. Plus, there are people still calling me Jaejoong out there. I was mainly called ugly because I didn't look like everyone else. I grew up in rural America...where everyone but a very few are white. Seeing that as I'm half-Korean, I stick out like a sore thumb, and for not looking like everyone else and looking the norm, I wasn't deemed attractive. Looking back, it didn't necessarily mean that I was ugly or anything.



Why bring this up? Letting others define me made me narcissistic and made me have a low self-esteem. I used to think that I was better than everyone else just because of my grades in high school, but still had a bad image about myself. Well, that changed when I entered university, because I stopped giving a shit what others think about myself. Sure, the genius label still followed me in university, but I didn't let that affect me like I did in high school. I didn't think I was above anyone else anymore. I learned that there is more than one type of intelligence, and it's obvious my emotional intelligence is just about non-existent. So, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and no one is inherently better than another person, despite all of the labels that are thrown out there in the world. Labeling others is something easy to do because it doesn't require actually getting to know someone.

You, on the other hand, are allowing people to define, and what's worse, anonymous people over the Internet who don't even know you. You need to build up a positive, but realistic image of yourself, according to your own criteria. Don't compare yourself to anyone but your former self and try to mold yourself to how you want to be. Since you seem to want a relationship, you need to build yourself into someone people would want to date, so yes, you have to make changes in your life. Being self-loathing isn't going to attract anyone. You have to have qualities that people desire and things about you that are interesting. I've seen people of all sizes, shapes, and appearances date and have kids, so it's not outside the realm of possibility for you to find someone for you. However, you're selling yourself short and seem desperate to have sex with any guy just to validate your existence, which is something the majority of guys aren't looking for. If a guy desperately needs to bang a chick, there are prostitutes and drinking parties to go to, but not every guy looks at every woman as another notch on the belt.



Now, onto the specific criticisms you wrote about AKF.

1. All types of shaming. It's in jest. Stop taking it too seriously. No one here really thinks Suzy and Chorong are fat. Lots of people like Suzy, and lots of people like Chorong. I personally find Chorong to be the best looking in A Pink, and I call her Fat Chorong. It doesn't mean that I think she's some beach whale that needs liposuction.

2. We're not averse to white women. I've dated white women for Christ's sake! This is a blog perdominantly about Korean entertainment, with some Japanese, Chinese and Taiwanese entertainment news/music/dramas/etc. thrown in between. I find women of other ethnicities and races hot, but since they're off topic on a Kpop blog, of course I don't post about them all the time.

3. This makes no sense, because it's a faulty analogy. When we we're complaining about Yuri being too skinny, we were complaining about the fact that she lost some of her curves and her majestic thighs. We were comparing Yuri only to her former self. That would indicate that we're not for anorexia right there. The Jenna Wang pictures aren't a good comparison because Jenna Wang is an entirely different person. Plus, she's not anorexic and we don't promote anorexia. I think you may have selectively ignored the articles about Sooyoung and Boram, who we joked about looking like Skeletor.

4. Jessica and Hyomin have elongated faces for their frames, drawing comparisons to horses. That still doesn't bother most of the readers here, because I'm sure most of us would want Jessica and Hyomin to sit on our faces.



5. Yes, plenty of women have written for this site. There are three female authors right now: Shinbi, Fany Pack, and Akisame. Former female authors include: Suckmydee, Lickmypunani, blackbeltbaybee, mynameisnotsuzy, liley, friglet, JK, Aurelie, Sehkmet, Conundrum, AiBaisMine, BEASTmode, and Budy. Out of the 31 people here who are/have been authors, 16 have been women. That's over half!!!1111

6. Well, no shit that you don't always agree with our music taste. That's the fucking point of this blog: to get away from group think when it comes to a group's music. I got tired of that shit at Soshified and Tiara Diadem. I would be chewed out for not saying a certain songs was a 5/5. This is just a place for people to express their opinions about something. There's a comment section so that people can debate opinions. This is the last place for group think in the Kpop world.

7. So you're now body shaming women while complaining about yourself being body shamed. I don't have to write shit here, it's just way too obvious as to what the problem is.

8. We do write about fanboy stupidity, like when that guy try to kidnap Taeyeon, that guy humped the Suzy poster, and when that guy groped a Crayon Pop member. Fanboy stupidity just doesn't happen as often as fangirl stupidity.



Well, can you blame me for thinking that? Over the course of a month, you posted similar messages in a lot of articles, which made it look like you were baiting us for your attention. If you actually did succeed in trolling all of us, good for you. But if you legitimately need help, go seek it. 

In the end, it's up to you to change your own self-image instead of allowing others to define yourself for you. You can't control what others say, think, write, etc. about you. You can't control someone's feelings and manipulate them into liking you. There are 7 billion fuckers in this world, so why let the views of thousands of readers and dozens of commenters affect you when we're a statistical insignificance in the big picture?

One last picture of Gakki.





Learning relative pitch - the k-pop way

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This is a music theory-related post.  I wrote it initially as an ask.fm answer to someone who asked about how to learn relative pitch.  I got halfway through and then thought to myself "fuck it - this information could be really useful so why not make a blog out of it so it's not buried 269 pages deep in my ask.fm answers list and impossible to dig out in a month's time.  People who are not musicians or aspiring to be musicians may struggle to understand this post and may also be incredibly fucking bored by it, and for that I apologise, but there probably isn't a way around this to be honest.

eunffss


Relative pitch is the ability to hear two notes and determine their relationship.

For the purpose of simplification, I'm going to split the concept of relative pitch into two sub-concepts:

Basic relative pitch: you can hear two different notes, and you know straight away which note is the higher note and which note is the lower note.

Advanced relative pitch:  you can hear two different notes, and you know straight away which note is the higher note and which note is the lower note AND the exact distance between these two notes.

Starting off with basic relative pitch, which is just listening to two notes and working out which one is higher and which is lower - you can practice this on any instrument just by moving up and down scales and listening to the changes in sound.  People who are "tone deaf" are those who can't hear the differences - they hear a sound and don't know the pitch relationship between it and any other sound.

Once you've got identifying which sound is higher to the point where you can get it right every time without fail, then it's time for relative pitch interval training.  This is where it gets trickier.

Here's all the musical intervals in pop music within a range of one octave:

interinet

There's many different ways to learn what the distances between these intervals sound like.  Here's a common type of method that is taught - associating an emotional feeling or qualitative aspect with each sound (forgive the typos and incorrections, the following chart wasn't created by me and I've left it as-is):

inters

The problem with this method is that not everybody hears these intervals in exactly the same way, especially once you add cultural aspects and different people's musical upbringing into the mix.  Someone who listens to lots of heavy metal or punk won't find a fifth to sound "empty" or a minor second to sound "irritating".  A blues afficionado probably won't find a tritone all that harsh, either.

I've always found that the best way to learn relative pitch intervals is "relatively" - to listen to examples in popular music and memorise them, and then when they come up in other songs they will trigger your memory because you will be able to link them back to the songs you already are very familiar with.  The more familiar you are with the songs, the better this works.  For instance, a major seventh is a very hard interval to recognise straight off the bat, because the two notes are very far apart.  However, it's easy as piss if you remember that the major seventh interval forms a key component of the theme from the movie "Superman", which is an interval that nearly everybody knows subconsciously because everybody went and saw a Superman film at one point in their lifetime.  The interval of a major seventh happens at 0:51 where it goes really high:


Now, if you happen to hear two notes anywhere else, all you need to do is sing "Superman" to yourself while you're listening (not necessarily out loud, just in your own head will do the job) and if the notes match up, you know you're dealing with a major seventh.  If not, then it's some other interval.

If you've built up a list of tunes to memorise for all the different intervals, then you can just keep trying different intervals in your head until you get the correct one.  Using this system of matching intervals to well known music, you can learn to recognise any interval when you hear it, but instead of using movie soundtracks, I'm going to give you k-pop singing examples of each interval that you can memorise.  Most of the following examples have the low note as the starting note and the higher note as the second note in the sequence.  Listen for the pitch change.

Starting with unison - in other words, no pitch change.  I don't have to give an example for that, do I?  Good.  Moving on.

The minor second: it's the eh-eh-eh-eh-eh, wah-ah-ah-ah-oh bit in 4Minute's Volume Up at 0:50:


Also a minor second: the theme from Jaws at the two minute mark, and the first chord change in the opening riff to everythrashmetalsongever. - oh, and Krystal's opening line in f(x)'s "Rum Pum Pum Pum" at 0:09:


Comparing k-pop melodic movement to thrash metal riffs, YES I WENT THERE.

The next interval on the list, the major second interval is the first two notes Minzy sings in 2NE1's "Falling In Love" at 0:27.  Listen to this, then listen to 4Minute's bit and notice how the distance in 2NE1's song is wider.


It's also in Girls' Generation's "Paparazzi" at 2:10, listen close as it's hard to tell apart from the minor second, but listen to this back to back with the f(x) example and you'll eventually get used to the difference:


The minor third interval is common in k-pop.  The first ten seconds of TVXQ's "Mirotic" vocals from 0:23 just works one solitary minor third interval over and over.


Also the entire vocal line of BigBang's "Monster" from 1:03 to 1:13 is ALL minor thirds.  If this doesn't get you used to the sound of it, nothing will.


The major third is also common, here it is in BEG's "Abracadabra" verse singing line at 0:48:


A very clear perfect fourth is in the "kiss me baby" line of the chorus of T-ara's "Day By Day" at 1:38:


The same interval starts off the verse melody of Day By Day at 1:06.

Everything Sunny sings in Girls' Generation's "I Got A Boy" from 1:33 to 1:37 is also working a perfect fourth interval:


Advanced examples: the chorus line after "Hey Boy" in Hyuna's "Bubble Pop" at 0:47 goes up and down the major scale, from the starting note to a major second, major third, perfect fourth, and then back down to the start again.  T-ara's Day By Day chorus does a similar climbing movement (from the word "baby") but it climbs up the minor scale instead, to a major second, minor third and perfect fourth, and doesn't come back down quite so directly.


The tritone or flat 5th is quite an unusual-sounding interval that is rare outside of heavy metal so in the smooth style of k-pop it's extraordinarily unusual and most songwriters go to great lengths to avoid using it ever.  However, the tritone does also have a functional use in blues music, and so it also appears in blues-inspired k-pop such as Lee Hi's "1, 2, 3, 4" where she jumps up to it briefly at 0:38 with quite a raspy voice:


The chorus to Lim Kim's "All Right" that begins at 0:08 is mostly just a sequence of descending perfect fifths.


Also a perfect fifth - the "oh oh" bit in Super Junior's "Sorry Sorry" at 0:32:


The minor sixth is rarely used, but here it is in The Seeya's "Be With You" at 1:17:


Major sixth: The first notes in the chorus of F-ve Dolls + Dani's "Can You Love Me" at 0:51:


Also major sixth - the jump-ups in the slow section of Ailee's "I'll Show You" at 0:23 to 0:25:


Also, everyDavichisongever.

Rare in k-pop, a minor seventh can still be found - it's in the first chorus notes of F-ve Dolls' "You Cheated" at 0:55.  Actually the note starts from the starting point, moving up to a minor seventh and then steps down, resolving on a major sixth relative to the first note, an example of the type of sexy suspended melodic movement that is all over the F-ve Dolls mini-album and helped make it my favourite mini of 2013.  Just on the off-chance that you actually give a fuck about that kind of thing.


The major seventh is as rare as hen's teeth and in the small time I had to put this together I couldn't find a single k-pop example of it, but I'm sure there's one out there.

EDIT: thanks to Sera S for submitting Younha's "Run"!  The relevant note is at 0:46, and the melody line goes from the starting note to a major second, then back down to the starting note and then up to the high major seventh.


An octave is being worked back and forth in "Something" by Girl's Day from 0:54 to 1:00.


There's no point going beyond an octave as the musical scale wraps around at that point so you use the same cues to identify a ninth that you would use for a second.

Here's a summary in a chart if you need a quick reference:

interinet3

Memorise how those parts in those songs sound, and now you've got a working "pitch memory" that you can use in any situation where you might need to recognise pitch intervals, such as learning how to sing or play a song that you're not familiar with, or knowing if you've hit a certain interval correctly.

Oh, and:

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

This is not a post about which singer is better.  Do NOT take this post over to your favourite vocal thread and go "look, my bias can hit interval x, she's better than your bias".  Any singer can hit any interval if they learn how (especially if they use this method I've outlined), even if their voice sucks.  I can hit ALL of these intervals, and my own singing voice is fucking shit.  This post is about you learning to identify pitches, it's not about proving who is better than who or for others to identify what your bias is or how mentally ill you are.

I hope this has been helpful to those of you learning music, and not too annoying for the rest of you!

eunhand2 copy

Soshi manager Chapter 4: "Let's do it slowly... and easy..."

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I walked in the door and immediately remembered why I had been dreading today for some time. That stupid festival... I don't have anything against Vietnam or anything but I knew that it'd be quite the chore to round up all the girls by the time their flight left. Who knew what ridiculous acts of trivia answering or shoe finding I'd have to undertake to get them in the car?




I checked with Mr. Kim who told me what 3 of the girls were doing. Thankfully I wouldn't have to worry about Yuri who I was still annoyed at from before. Maybe I was wrong, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I left for the academy.


I wasn't sure who she was talking about, but maybe their notes would give some clues as to what they were up to. I looked around the academy to see what I could find.


Checking in the lounge I was accosted by another member of Super Junior. The academy really is infested with them, someone should do something about it. I simply nodded and left Siwon alone to enjoy his sunglasses...


In the practice room I met another person who isn't a member of Girls Generation. Key apparently thinks I have something for Krystal and offered me some sage advice about winning her over. I once again simply nodded before excusing myself. I was hoping he had forgotten about our little competition from earlier but I guess not. I asked him if anyone was in the changing room to which he replied, "Eww I can't go in there, there could be girls in there!"


Just like Mr. Kim said Taeyeon was in the recording studio. I told her we had to get going for the flight but sure enough:


Another stupid test. I thought about telling her I didn't have time nor was I getting paid to do this kind of shit. But I knew it would be pointless. We weren't going anywhere until we got this out the way. "Hurry up and let me fail", I told myself.


Try as I might I couldn't get it right. Oh well at least she was able to leave now. After that unpleasantness I headed to the dorms.


Of course!? Why shouldn't we just be able to leave. I told her I'd find her phone. Not like I have a choice...


At least she was a little helpful. I said I'd check all the usual spots they might go to. (Note the dev mistake.)


Well that was the easiest task yet. I turned around and there it was. I'm not sure why Sooyoung couldn't see it sitting right there.


Yes, maybe you might need more food I said to the virtual skeleton standing before me.


I thanked her for the directions and was happy I was happy to make at least one person happy so far. I wrote down her directions so I wouldn't forget them and added Sooyoung to my girl collection.


I said...


Seriously? Though at this point Yoona's ridiculous request hardly surprised me. In fact I left extra early in anticipation of just such a thing.


She challenged to win 5 games against her. I easily won the first 4...


Yes...


Anyway I finally beat her again to complete her little challenge.


"No, I definitely noticed" I said. I noticed we were running out of time and I was going to be without a job soon if this kept up.


At any rate I was curious as to what they bought. Oh, something for me? I vaguely remembered Seohyun saying she would buy something for me. Something that started with a 'p', if I recalled.


Ah, that must be it.


I told her I'd enjoy and that it'd taste extra good coming from her. ^-^


Fine I will, I don't care anymore.


With that we were on our way to the airport. Because of my expert planning we arrived early and what better way to pass the time than more stupid quizzes? Seriously, what is it with these girls and always quizzing me?


I answered questions as best as I could trying to remember all the various things I learned from gossip magazines. I knew reading those someday would pay off.


Another person I managed to make happy. I was just starting to feel good about myself when all of a sudden...


I think Taeyeon was still upset from before. She still had that same stupid look on her face.


Whatever. Sooyoung could tell something was going on and said I would hang out with her. Who was I to turn her down?


We had a fun time before it was finally time to get on the flight. I managed to get a tiny bit of sleep before we arrived.

Queen BoA releases Shout It Out PV

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I've been jamming to this song since I heard the radio edit a few days ago. Props to Avex for not fucking us over by releasing a short PV. They actually uploaded the full one!

Sasaeng fan selling Exo underwear

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Who wants Exo's underwear?


Anybody? Anybody?


This week in Embarrassing Exo Fan News, a sasaeng average Exo fan is selling underwear she claims she stole from Exo's dorm. (I mean, we all know it's a "she" right?) According to this fan -- let's call her "Cray Suzy" -- the undergarment in question belongs to member D.O.


Seen here at a fansigning, probably fearing for his life


Not only does Cray Suzy say she went to Exo's dorm alone to get it, according to the Soompi article, she says, "'There’s a few hairs on the underwear so you can check the DNA. I also have his socks. Don’t criticize or attack me.'"

Why would she think anyone was going to criticize or attack her? All she claims to have done is broken into Exo's dorm, stolen a pair of underwear, searched it for pubes, and put it up for sale online (at a steal of $10, no less). Is that all it takes to become the subject of ridicule these days? Pssshhh. Maybe, she's worried that someone will attack her for also soliciting pre-orders for next week's shipment.


Be afraid. Be very afraid.


Or perhaps, she's just worried that no one will be delusional enough to believe her story. Then again, she is reaching out to Exo fans, so ...


I don't even like this song, but it felt appropriate here.






GOT7 want to be known as "Black Kids"

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I don't really care about GOT7 - a JYP rookie group - but this is stupid it's incredibly funny. I think my IQ dropped about 10 points when I read that before I started laughing at the laptop screen. This isn't remotely racist* or anything, but couldn't they just refer to their music as "hip-hop"? Their PR management must have been face-palming themselves so heard after hearing this lol.

*because of their stupidity people are going to use this against them to refer to them as "racist" rather than just plain dumb.

Stuck in my Head ~ Song of the Day 8

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Song Ji Eun of SECRET came back with another solo single a few months back.


"False Hope" is a hauntingly gorgeous song that I fell in love with no quicker than her first solo. I thoroughly loved "Going Crazy"; so when I was notified of another single from just her, I was ecstatic. So, I hope you enjoy her, too.


I think she does "vengeful (ex?)girlfriend" ballads very well.

Again, I am not doing a song critique or anything. Just sharing. I am also interested in what you guys are listening to (because I have no interest in searching for new Korean music myself). Show me the good stuff, please! =)

So if any of you have any recommendations, please send them to me via the comment section below, e-mail (zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com), twitter (akf_shinbi), or ask.fm (http://ask.fm/akfshinbi). Thanks, FISHies!

Premise:

Since Korean music is in general very catchy, I find myself addicted to songs constantly, leaving them on replay for days hours on end. So I thought I would share some of the many songs that I have been addicted to lately. 

The whole point of this article is just to share music with each other. This is in no way one of our funny or trolling articles. I notice often in the chatroom (up top), many of us are telling each other what are good songs and which artists to listen to. So I felt that maybe posting them in the comment section below on an article would make it easier to navigate whose recommendations you trust. They can be old or new songs. Like I really care.

Feel free to post the song stuck in your head at this moment. You don't have to post your entire Top 25 play list right now either. These articles will pop up frequently, so you can share one song at a time. 

My Last Possible Edit of Nicole Jung

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RIP Nicole's career. You were my favorite Kara member since 5ever ago, and not just because of your ass. In commemorating the likely end of your career, I had to make one last edit of you.

Why Doesn't Snoop Care?

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As you may or may not have heard, Snoop Dogg was photographed with a good ol' Korean in black face.


"But why, Snoop?" you may ask. "Why don't you give a shit about this??"
First, let's give you some context.

I'm 99% percent sure this is some behind-the-scenes peek behind that Psy-Snoop Dogg MV collab in the works for Psy's impending comeback. This was photographed at Snoop's request. Snoop captioned this with the following:
"Stunt double. Hahahahahah. This nigha here !!
So as a black man himself, he should be more than aware of the history behind black face right? But if he posted this as a selfie on his Instagram, he's okay with it?

That means we all get our nigga privileges back amirite.

We've covered these race issues many times in the past, and Asian Junkie especially has done a ton of write-ups on the matter. I don't see the need to tell you why this is a bad thing, and why Snoop Dogg's selfie probably set "black people relations" back to the stone age, and why this will keep happening because Korea as a culture doesn't get why it's a bad thing.

Some might say he's trolling. Some say he's being paid not to give a shit. If you want my opinion, YG is probably keeping him supplied with trainees, won, and GD's weed stash to keep his mouth shut.

sm0ke weed every day
At any rate, the shitstorm that this will inevitably stir up will be fun to watch. Thanks Snoop oppa.

GLAM Didn't Disband!!111

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Many fans had thought that GLAM had disbanded, since it is very unusual for a rookie/new group to take this much time off from promotions when the norm is for these new groups to promote non-stop, like T-ara used to or BAP still does. Anyway, all I have to say in regards to GLAM still being around is...



Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 46

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This week's photos come from Rylee:




Thank you for your submission!

~*~*~

Best comment of the lot: "I thought he was gay~" - said everyone ever


As some of you may know, these photos are from a rehearsal of a play Key (SHINee) and Dana (The Grace) act in.

But, as per usual, our astute Shawols did not do their homework and immediately assumed that their boyfriend (Key-oppa) was cheating on them with some whore. You know, for a plethora of girls who waste their life only following SHINee news, it is surprising that many of them did not realise it was for a show. Whatever. More fun comments for us to look at.

To be fair though, many of the responses were actually quite reasonable.

You can read all of the comments here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=576994979024465&set=a.424069150983716.98959.424058034318161&type=1&theater&notif_t=photo_reply#_=_


If anyone has submissions for future Stupid Things Fangirls Utter, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, tweet them to @akf_shinbi, ask them at ask.fm/akfshinbi, or leave them in the comment section below. Remember your rights on this site: anything you say or do here can and probably will be used against you. Thank you, FISHies!

Kiss & Cry - Domino Game

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Lol. Dat nose. That's what happens when you visit the same surgeon as Park Bom.

Thanks to @klogglol/fiddle.se for providing this laugh.

Toda Erika Is Jjangbak

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I just had to post something because that nose on that girl in the article below is going to give me nightmares.

Korean Netizens Praise Han Ye Seul, Expect The Apocalypse

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No way.

Just no way.



Is this real life? Has Hell frozen over? I ask that in seriousness because it certainly has fucking frozen over where I live.



For the past week, there have been rumors of the Avengers 2 shooting in Korea and for Han Ye Seul to be in it. Now, it has been 2.5 years since Han Ye Seul has been on Korean television, and in the meantime, I have read this and that rumor about what she is supposed to star in, all to no avail so far. However, she recently signed with a new agency and aside from a drama in the first half of 2014, they also want Ye Seul to be in a Hollywood movie, so at least the rumors make sense, despite how groundless they are.

There's this NetizenBuzz article about the Avengers 2 shooting in Korea and looking to have a Korean actress be in the movie.

Just no way. I can't believe some of the comments I'm reading.

8. [+67, -18] I think a pretty actress like Han Ye Seul being known to foreigners as Korean will make me proud... Although she had a scandal, I hope she gets chosen...
9. [+65, -20] Although she's disappointed us, I recommend Han Ye Seul... she's the top in our country in height, weight, and face... 
Compliments! Towards Ye Seul! Holy shit, maybe Koreans aren't extremely petty and have the ability to mature...as long as you don't talk about Japan! Still, holy shit!

Maybe they've come to the realization that it has simply been too long since Ye Seul was in anything and they want to fap to her again. I don't know, but whatever it is, I'm shocked.






So flawless. Koreans are finally starting to see the ways of their errors...almost three years late.

Let's help KARA have a bright future

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Almost everybody reading this will know that KARA, one of k-pop's biggest groups, has had some line-up difficulties lately with two members Nicole and Jiyoung not renewing their contracts, leaving the group as a three-piece.  I guess it must be a pretty shit group to be in if the girls are making enough money to buy real estate yet some of them can't stand to be part of the KARA machine any longer, but then if I were an idol maybe I'd be sick of that bullshit by now and I'd bail too.  In any event, the girls probably aren't giving anything away.

kara-lupin

So what does this mean for the future of KARA... and how can we help?

A lot of people are now predictably saying "well, Nicole and Jiyoung leaving is surely the death of the group" - but k-pop fans have an excellent way of being wrong about these kinds of things.  Even the k-pop media continually gets it wrong.  Remember at the start of 2013 when people speculated on which groups would disband in the coming year and Allkpop laughably picked T-ara and Block B?  If you ever wanted any hard evidence that these people have no idea about anything, there it is.  As much as I absolutely hate to direct my readers to click on a link to the Great Satan of k-pop websites, feel free to click the above link anyway just to take a look at their other insane predictions for 2013 to see what else didn't come true.  Then scrub your computer thoroughly for malware and tracking cookies and add the site to your browser's permanent block list.

It's easy to get distracted by the fact that 40% of KARA didn't sign new contracts while ignoring what this ALSO obviously means - the other 60% of the group DID sign new contracts.   We can only presume that DSP still intends to do something with KARA - and why wouldn't they?  KARA makes a shitload of money and even in Korea's "keeping up appearances" industry, money still talks and netizen bullshit still walks - for the same reason that CCM were very obviously never going to disband T-ara, DSP will keep KARA going as long as they possibly can get away with it.

The other thing to keep in mind is that KARA has had line-up juggling this severe before, and not only survived it, but benefited from it.

kara-gir

Kara's debut album "The First Blooooming" was an awful R&B piece of shit with only about two good songs on it, and while it didn't do all that badly commercially, the group didn't kick their career into high gear until Sunghee's parents pulled her out of the group for some more daddy-time, they got two new members in and their producers finally found where the "soft-ass R&B shit nobody over the age of five wants to hear" knob was on the studio desk and turned that down a bit.  So there's no reason, at least theoretically, why KARA couldn't also survive and benefit from this latest line-up juggle.

Three members isn't a very good number for a k-pop group though.  A group like KARA really needs at least four members, just so they can match the four letters of the group to them in photos and promotional material - it's just good graphic design for an idol group.  Even TVXQ do okay with just two members because you can place two letters over each member, but four over three is just a mess when you're trying to make posters and CD covers.  KARA really needs another member just so the girl over at DSP graphic design doesn't pull a hernia over this shit.

This might all seem a bit trivial - but remember, graphic design is part of branding and it's very important to people.  Look at how excited people get about their favourite sports teams.  Where I live, sports fans of team X won't necessarily live anywhere near location X, it's very common to find devout fans of a team way over on the other side of the country, and if you ask them "what initially got you into team X as your faves" they probably can't even tell you.  They'll just say "they're the best" over and over while drooling and scraping their knuckles lightly on the carpet, but the truth is that usually they got into the team when they were very very young because they were asked one day "what team is your favourite" in the schoolyard and they hadn't really thought about it yet so they just picked the one that had the coolest looking logo.  Sports fans at heart are really graphic design junkies.  Who says it's any different for k-pop groups?  After all the groups are interchangeable in just about every other aspect.

I thought it would therefore be cool to help out DSP and try to find a fourth member for KARA, by scouting through various people in the world of k-pop that may be potentially looking for employment, to see if they're doing much for the next few years, and if they would be a good fit for KARA.

Let's look at the positives and negatives of some candidates:

KAHI (ex-AFTER SCHOOL)

kahi-tumblr

It's no secret that Kahi's career has been on the downturn since leaving After School and she's likely to be questioning her next career move.  Could joining KARA be a mutually beneficial arrangement?

Positives: 

Looks pretty

Can sing somewhat, dance and do PR

Relevant work experience

Existing sexually frustrated fanbase will appreciate her recreating KARA's dance moves

Negatives:

Probably a little overqualified for the role

Potential ego/leadership problems given that she's used to running shit

Might also have ego issues if management doesn't have enough time for her

Conclusion:

Seems like more trouble than it's worth.  Don't call us Kahi, we'll call you.


HWAYOUNG (ex T-ARA)

hwayoun

It's a pretty safe bet to say that T-ara's ex-nail polish application specialist has probably been looking for more things to do to fill her time lately.

Positives:

Looks hot

Nice boobs

Only a rapper, can't sing whatsoever, great replacement for Nicole

Increased web traffic from netizens can be monetised if DSP attach ads to trashy rumour mill sites

Negatives:

Reliability is obviously an issue

Lack of determination, potential difference in determination levels

Poor at clarifying rumours

Recent cameo MV appearance in bath suggests leg may not be completely healed

Conclusion:

Does not play well with others.  Should stick to wearing clingy white clothes and getting them wet, it's a solitary activity and she seems to be very good at it.

SOHEE (ex-WONDER GIRLS)

sohee-32

JYP's ex-#1 crush is at a bit of a loose end right now - does she have what it takes?

Positives:

Looks hot

Barely functional vocals will fit right in

Can pick up lots of extra CF and magazine fashion work

Strange eyes compliment Seungyeon's, balancing her appearance

Negatives:

Prank calls from JYP whispering his name and hanging up a possibility

Lamination of photocards and packaging an extra expense

If Sohee and Seungyeon look in opposite directions from the stage their eye-beams could intersect and create a "crossing the streams" incident resulting in many casualties

Conclusion:

The thought is appealing but this looks like another high-maintenance option, the restraining order necessary to keep JYP away alone may cost thousands.

HAEIN (ex-GANGKIZ)

333be-haein

CCM's failed MILF concept group has left more than a few careers on pause.

Positives:

Looks hot

Nice boobs

Modelling experience

Not really good at anything much except the above, won't cramp KARA's style

Negatives:

As the oldest, could create ego/leadership issues

Group might flop-by-association

Future MV concepts involving bikinis may lead to post traumatic stress flashback of working on shitty CCM beach karaoke videos

Conclusion:

Seems high-risk somehow.  Maybe search elsewhere, but DSP should keep her resume on file for when it's time to make the official KARA karaoke beach DVD set.

HWANG MINWOO (aka LITTLE PSY)

little-psy-hated-online-1

Little PSY is growing up, he won't be able to milk the "I'm a younger cuter version of PSY" angle for much longer.  Perhaps a career shift is in order.

Positives:

Already has a working relationship with KARA

General talent deficit in all areas won't cause any group dischord or bruised egos

Ugly appearance will only serve to highlight the attractiveness of the other members

Negatives:

Mixed gender groups traditionally not popular

Basically unlistenable

We'll probably have to watch him do the horse dance again

Performing of the "butt dance" from "Mister" could cause mass suicides across Asia as both fans and casual observers alike lose all hope in future generations of young people

Conclusion:

Although I feel for Little PSY's dim career prospects, the greater good of humanity outweighs the needs of the individual so let's decline this option.

DANIEL (DMTN/DALMATION)

dmtn-daniel

While technically still a member of DMTN, maybe a fresh start is in order for Daniel's career as his reputation has taken a hit lately.  What better way to turn over a new leaf than to change groups before his career goes up in smoke?

Positives:

An eligible adult male presence might get more fangirls onboard with KARA

Nothing notable talent-wise, should fit right in

Overall happiness levels within the group bound to increase

DSP revenue streams may be bolstered even if the group doesn't do well commercially

Negatives:

Mixed gender groups traditionally not popular

Seungyeon may become even more crosseyed and awkward

Conclusion:

Would probably be a good idea internally but may struggle to find mainstream acceptance.  DSP employees should keep his business card for weekend use though.


CLARA

clara

Word on the street is that Korean actress/model Clara is trying to break into music lately.  Could she have what it takes to make a positive contribution to KARA?

Positives:

Looks hot 


Only really famous for being famous, so should fit in

Clara rhymes with KARA, good from a marketing perspective


Did I mention tits

Negatives 

Everyone will bitch and moan OH WAIT ACTUALLY THAT'S A POSITIVE

clara3

Conclusion:

DSP, do it.  Don't leave her out on the sidewalk like that.  How could you?

clara2
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