Lately I've been fielding a lot of questions like this:


and this:


So for those who wonder:

1.  How much money idols make, and
2.  How much fans and idols alike are being played like suckers by entertainment companies

This blog has the answer, in both short and long form.


Answers in short form first:

1.  Fuck all.
2.  A lot.

Those of you who hate long blog posts, you can now stop reading because you already have your answers.  The rest of this post is for those of you who like my usual rambling style, or for those people who don't believe me and absolutely must insist that I back up my completely-obvious-anyway points with some sort of detail.

Now that I've scared off all the tl;dr-haters, let's talk about k-pop idol contracts first.  Firstly, how fair are they?

When a label agrees to take on an artist, a contract is usually signed between the two parties.  The contract is basically a written agreement that decides how business is going to work between the artist and the label.  It includes things like the profit share, which is how much money per sale the label keeps vs how much the artist gets.  A very small independent label in the west that's feeling generous might split the profits 50/50 with the artist.  Larger western labels usually take about 90% of the profit for themselves and the artist gets 10%... or less.  So why would anyone sign to the major label instead of the independent?  You'd have to be crazy, right?  Well, the major label has a lot more reach - they can get you on the radio, on TV stations, they can do more advertising, fund your expensive touring, etc. because they've got a larger capital base to work from, so even though you're earning less per unit, you have the potential to sell a lot more units and thereby make a larger profit anyway.

However, until those sales are made, how is the artist going to live?  The answer is the "record company advance".  The record company often gives the artist a stack of money upfront (usually a few thousand for a small label, can be up to millions for high-profile A-list western artists), and says "here you go, this is for you to record your album and tour", but this money is not a gift, it's a loan.  The artist now has a debt - money that they owe the record company.  All money that the artist makes from record sales, touring etc goes toward paying off the debt first, before the artist ever sees any profits - they are "in the red" until it's all paid back.  Whenever you hear about some artist getting given a ridiculous shitload of cash, and you wonder what the fuck possessed someone to just hand over a massive wad of money like that to someone who is already rich as fuck, it's because whoever is giving them that money is expecting a return on their investment; they believe that the artist in question will be able to make all that money back, and then some.

What happens if the artist runs out of advance money, because recording their album costs more than they thought it would be, or took longer, or they just have "expensive habits"?  The label won't let them starve - they will generally give them a wage... and that wage is also added onto the loan, so the artist is expected to essentially pay their own wages out of record sales and tours.  And guess what else is also typically added onto the loan?  All the promotional costs.  Those expensive TV ads, the ads on the radio, posters, expenses for an MV, cost of making merchandise, all of this stuff gets thrown on top of the debt, the artist has to make enough money to cover the costs of all that stuff.  But what if the record label keeps doing advertising and MVs and spending money on promoting you at a faster rate than you can pay the money back?  Well, er, um... welcome to how the majority of major label deals work.  By continually keeping you in the promotional loop, a record label can keep you in debt as long as they want - as soon as you're about to break even, "let's do more ads and another MV!" and you've got a rising debt again, just like that.


Now a smart artist when negotiating a contract will insist on a clause where they can veto promotional expenses and set limits on what their label can add onto their debt.  However not many artists are that smart - most of them are young, naive and star-struck and will sign any old bullshit some guy in a suit from a major label telling them they will be a star throws in their face.  So unless the naive artist has an absolute MONSTER hit, they're going to be in debt for the duration of their record company contract, if the record company has their way.  Record companies are very good at spending money, and consider it their duty to spend every last bit of cash on pushing their artist.  The mentality of people who work in this "expenses allocation" side of the business is "if my artist is making a profit, I'm not doing my job".  The artists that get really rich are the small handful who either were savvy enough to negotiate better contract terms, run their own business side of things themselves and/or just made money a ton faster than their label could spend it.  The other ones, the vast majority, are just on that survival wage and see about the same amount of money as they would in an entry-level retail job.... at best.  At the end of the contract term any remaining debt is (usually) waived, but the artist usually didn't see any payout either.  They could have worked behind the counter at a supermarket checkout the whole time and seen similar income.


So that's a typical western scenario.  Now that we've got that out of the way, let's go over to k-pop and factor in what k-pop does differently.  I've never worked with a k-pop label myself, so I of course don't know the exact details of any contract, but just from observing things from the outside, a few basic things are fairly obvious to me as someone with general experience in this area.

Firstly, k-pop entertainment companies don't tend to give artists cash advances so those artists can go spend it on recording/transport/food/hookers/drugs - instead, they keep the artist closely under their wing and advance their artists goods and services instead - the company pays for all the artist's living expenses, and spend years training them and making their product.  They provide accommodation, food, equipment, training from several different tutors, pay utilities, provide clothes, etc etc.  All of this isn't cheap of course.  If the whole "family"-type marketing some of the bigger k-pop labels do has any truth in it, it's probably only in the sense that the label spends money on their in-house artists in a similar fashion to how your parents spend money on you while you're growing up.


So how much money is involved?  If you've got parents in the close vicinity, go to them right now and ask them how much money they have spent, in total on bringing you up over the last three years.   Then (if they haven't gone into hysterics or post-traumatic stress just from thinking about it) ask them how much extra money they would have had to spend if you also needed specialist private tutors in language, dancing and singing during that time.  Then multiply that total figure by the amount of girls or boys in a typical idol group.  Gosh, suddenly we've got hundreds of thousands of dollars, maybe even millions.  And this is just pre-debut training expenses, we haven't even talked about making any music or videos yet!

So where do you suppose the entertainment company is going to source the money for all this?  You guessed it - the idols' eventual money-making activity.  Existing labels can use previous successful activity to fund it, whereas a new label starting from scratch probably either needs a rich sponsor or a bank loan, but at the end of the day the responsibility to make that money back rests on the members of the new idol group's shoulders, or otherwise the whole business model isn't sustainable.

So what would a k-pop artist's contract look like, compared to a western artist?  Is there any way they could negotiate a deal where they at least get some money?

Doubtful.  Here's why.

Say you're a girl auditioning to be in some new five-member k-pop girl group, and the people running the auditions have trimmed down the selection from 100 girls to about a dozen, including you.  You get called into the office.

The CEO puts some paper and a pen in front of you.  He says "here's a contract - sign this, and we'll put you in our training program and debut you in 3 years time".

You weren't born yesterday, so you read the contract over.  You notice that this contract insists on strict adherence to the label's schedule, you're not allowed to see or contact your family, you have to eat their food, you don't even get a wage, basically it makes you their slave!

"But this contract is unfair!", you protest.

What do you think their reaction will be:

1:  "What would YOU like to see in this contract?  Maybe we can come to an agreement that suits everyone?"

2:

Selection processes for idol groups are extremely competitive, and when you first approach an agency, you're a nobody, so you have no bargaining power.  If there's not much separating you and the other girls who auditioned with you, there's no reason why they would negotiate with you.  If you protest they'll just send you out the door and ask you to hold it open for the next girl to walk through.  Sure, you might be a bit more talented, but so what - that's what the three year training program is for, to compensate for any talent shortfalls.  Another girl might have to train a bit harder, but if they're going to be more co-operative, from the label's point of view it's a better investment to go with someone not as capable but willing to work hard to address any weaknesses.  Less potential problems down the track, and it means the label can sign them with any contract they want.

There's an exception, however.  Where k-pop artists sometimes probably DO get good contracts is once their initial contract expires, and they get to sign a second contract.  If they did well up until this point, they are now a known name which means that they have bargaining power; they can say "okay, we're a known name that can generate revenue, so if you want us to sign this, we insist on terms X, Y and Z" which might mean fairer profit-share, more free time, a better release schedule, or any number of other things.  There's a good chance that Davichi's new contract with CCM doesn't suck - for CCM to get the group away from the new agency and back under their wing, they would have no doubt had to dangle a few appealing carrots.  KARA members have also been buying real estate recently, which suggests that they have disposable income - whatever agreement was made behind closed doors after the group's notorious dispute with DSP was no doubt more in KARA's favour than whatever was happening previously.  You may now also understand why SM Entertainment's ultra-long 13 year slave contracts were such a hot issue in the industry - by the time that 13 years is up, an artist's time in the pop limelight may have been and gone, and perhaps they are not hot property anymore, and once again the power of negotiation is not in their favour.

These are the exceptions.  VERY few k-pop artists would be rich, or even well-off.  K-pop companies are good at giving their idols the appearance of affluence, but it's not reality.  That flashy car you see in the MV?  It's a rental, it goes back in the hire company's garage after the MV shoot is over (and no pries for guessing where the money that pays for the hire fees eventually gets sourced).  Do you really think CL owns a "black-on-black Lamborghini"?


If so, think again (but if she ever does get one I hope she doesn't grip the steering wheel like that - incorrect steering wheel grip on a performance car is way more dangerous that dangling some fucking oranges, you know).  Like any idol has even got time to go cruising around in a vehicle so impractical anyway.  She might get to keep her "Gizibe" bling but that'd be about all, and even that's a maybe.  Even the more flashy clothes are often borrowed and unless you're going the DIY route like T-ara's Hyomin they go back to the warehouse once the MV and TV promotions are over.  Every time you hear about some new MV that came out where crazy six-digit sums were spent on things like set design and clothing, that's all debt that the artist has to pay off.  Those MVs don't look quite so impressive now, do they.

When Block B didn't get paid for over a year, they took their label to court and lost, because they just weren't making any profit after expenses so there simply wasn't anything to pay them.  They wouldn't have been able to afford a cup of coffee, meanwhile their label was still spending megabucks on their promotions up until that point.  This is a normal situation.  is it illegal?  Not if the group agreed to it in the initial contract.  This should also put those "fan gifts" into context.  The reason why some groups get so excited about their gifts is because it's the only actual source of assets that many of them have!  Remember when U-Kiss members tried to get fans to buy them copies of a computer game?  Why wouldn't they just buy the copies themselves?  Perhaps they're typical teenage douchebags, or perhaps they're just fucking broke, and their contract is that shitty that shelling out $50 for a computer game is not something that they can even afford (and they're typical teenage douchebags).


So what about the product?

It might be helpful to talk about the supermarket industry.  Yes, it's GOING OFF ON A TANGENT TIME, folks.  Would it even be a Kpopalypse blog without a twist like this in it?

I knew a person who was a PR representative for a large food company.  Her job was to deal with supermarket chain owners and manage their display of her company's product, making sure that it is placed in premium spaces where people buy more of it (stay with me - this becomes relevant).  There's several tricks that supermarkets use to get people to buy more stuff:


However, how is it decided who gets those premium spaces?  The answer has several terms, such as "cliffing" or "slotting fees" but what it all basically amounts to is shelf space rental - the manufacturer pays the supermarket a fee to allow them to use the shelf space.  How much are these fees?  There's no set figure, because it varies depending on what shelf space you want - obviously shelf space that more customers buy from will be worth more than the little bit right down the bottom nobody notices.  The person I knew said her company spent "thousands", but didn't elaborate specifically.  What she did say, was this: the supermarket chains she dealt with made more money off selling the shelf space to food manufacturers than they made from customers buying the product - a LOT more.

This turns the consumer equation on its head.  Here's what someone would logically assume about a supermarket:

You = the customer
What's on the shelf = the product
Supermarket = the retailer

But really, from the supermarket's point of view, it's more like this:

Supermarket = the retailer
Food manufacturer = the customer
You and the amount of attention you give to the shelf space = the product

Have you ever noticed when a supermarket stopped stocking your favourite item?  Did you go and complain to a staff member and say "hey, I really like Thing A that you stocked, when are you guys going to bring it back?", only to be met with lots of umming and ahhing and "er yeah, um... I dunno, I'll ask management for you about Thing A and we'll see what we can do"... and they seemed really noncommittal about it and nothing really changed and you still wonder why?  You'd think that as a customer, your purchasing power would be important, right?  Well, it's not, and that's because that as far as supermarket management is concerned, you are not the customer.  You're the product, your function is to look at shelves and buy Things, and it's this function as a consumer that is being sold to the real customer - the manufacturers of Things.  Thing A is however no longer stocked because the company that makes it decided they didn't want to pay for the shelf space anymore, or they got outbid by another company who makes Thing B, so that's all you can get for now.  Just wave to the checkout girls and smile because you're just a cog in a machine that isn't really even for you.


Now keeping this example in mind, let's get back to k-pop.

It's no secret that there's no money in selling music to the public anymore, as most people are downloading, either illegally for free, or at best, for a fraction of the price that a full-length album used to cost.  Most western groups make up for the fact that nobody's buying albums by going on the road and making a shitload of money touring (which is why concert ticket prices have skyrocketed in the past 10 years) - but most k-pop groups don't do this either.  So where is the money made?  How can these companies and groups even afford to exist?  Let Bernie Cho of DFSB Kollective give you the answer:


Relevant part at 7:07: "The cold hard reality right now is music is actually no longer the business - if anything, it's become a business card.  If it becomes popular, it leads to other opportunities, that is where they make money."

These other opportunities are commercial films (CFs), endorsements and product placement.  An idol's MV is at heart an advert, but it's not just an advert to you to buy the music.  It's also an advert to people who might like to use the young men and women in these things for advertising and product placement purposes.  The Korean entertainment companies are saying to manufacturers of Things "Look at this group of guys, wouldn't they look nice holding your product?  They have lots of crazy rabid fans itching to buy anything associated with them." - your idol is not even the product, he is living, breathing shelf space, just waiting for a product to be associated with him.

CFs are self-explanatory and idols get paid a ton of money for these.  We've all seen product placement in MVs too, where people are showing using phones and so forth with the brand and sometimes even a specific applet shown clearly to the camera.  If the company is willing to pay a premium some companies will just go "fuck it let's just make it a CF instead and do a song ABOUT the damn phone".


You've also perhaps seen the reverse end of the scale which is stuff like this:


When a brand shows up incidentally in k-pop, if the person who owns that brand hasn't paid a hefty sum in product placement fees, they blur it out.  This isn't product placement, it's the lack of product placement, it's the entertainment company saying "your advert could go here if you were to pay us".  (This use of the blur in MVs is different to in some TV shows where they blur because it's illegal to use product placement in that context, or has been until recently).  The piss-poor looking retailer in the background sure as hell don't look like they've got the money to pay for their logo to be displayed in a k-pop MV so what you're looking at in the above picture is an empty supermarket shelf.

Endorsements are common too, and they work with crazy fangirls who will buy any old shit as long as their idols are on it.  I simply can't count the amount of people I personally know who have bought "B2ST Instant Noodles".


These have got to taste terrible like all dried instant noodles do but I'm sure there are crazy fangirls out there buying hundreds of these packets so they can "live off B2ST" in an emergency and feel close to their oppars.  Having a "B2ST Noodle" inside them is probably as close as they will ever get to their wet dreams and what's in their favourite fanfics.

Just like in the supermarket situation, the amount of money that companies make selling you the music is positively dwarfed by the amount of money they make in selling idols' marketing abilities to product manufacturers.  So in this context:

You = the customer
K-pop group's songs = the product
Entertainment company = the retailer

Has now become:

Entertainment company = the retailer
Advertisers = the customer
Idols = the shelf space
The amount of attention you give to the idols/shelf = the product

If people don't pay attention to their idols and care about them, then those idols holding the latest mobile phone becomes worthless.  It could just be any random person in that case.  In this way the manipulation of fan insanity is actually the engine that drives the moneymaking side of the industry.  If you've ever seen an idol use something and think "cool - I've got to get one of those", you'll know that this works, and exactly how powerful it is.


Yes, you are being manipulated (of course), along with the idols.  If you're thinking "well, this is shit" then I guess that's another way you could interpret the lyrics of "Chocolate Love" isn't it.  Everyone sing along now.

This week's photo comes from an anonymous asker from my Ask.fm:



Thank you for your submission!

~*~*~

WHAT

THE

ACTUAL

FUCK

ARE

YOU

DOING!?!?!?!


Are you for real, girl (assuming it is a female EXOtic)?! Can you imagine the clean up after that? Gross. Her parents must have been so proud when they discovered that. Hope it doesn't scar because damn. That would be hard to explain to your grandchildren. You know what? Better yet - don't procreate. Although, I can only fathom what you would do to your body if EXO ever broke up.

My gosh, woman. Get help. This is ridiculous.


If anyone has submissions for future Stupid Things Fangirls Utter, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, tweet them to @akf_shinbi, ask them at ask.fm/akfshinbi, or leave them in the comment section below. Remember your rights on this site: anything you say or do here can and probably will be used against you. Thank you, FISHies!

So she is taking a nap.

Props to Younha for letting her vocals mesh with the instrumental instead of trying to overpower it. That's why I can listen to Younha all day and Hyorin for 15 seconds.

8=======D~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up this morning feeling a bit under the weather, maybe I'm getting sick? I figured no one would have any pity for me since the girls have to work all the time when they don't feel good. Oh well, that's neither here nor there. As I walked past Miss Han Jiwon's desk she reminded me to bring my cellphone and sunglasses... So, some "thing" that apparently happened before wouldn't happen again. I could remember what this thing was, but I just said, "sure" and tried to remember where I left that stuff. Why does everything here always manage to get lost and end up in the strangest places? I figured I'd check the changing room at the academy first.


Strangely enough my cellphone was actually in my office by my computer! Talk about luck. The sunglasses were no where to be soon though...


I had checked everywhere I could possible think of before ending up in the lounge. I had barely set foot inside when Kyuhyun grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me aside. Running into Kyuhyun was beginning to happen with some horrible regularity. Leeteuk was there too but just creepily watched us the whole time without saying anything.


Kyuhyun asked me some rather strange questions about SNSD. Things like what their fanclub was was originally going to be called, a question about an upcoming duet with Taeyeon, and then something about their diets. Whatever I thought, he's probably just curious about his unnies. I answered his questions as best as I could and when he was finished he made me promise not to tell anyone that he asked me about them. He also gave me a file that had information about the password for the girls' dorm. Why Kyuhyun of all people had this information is a real mystery. I made a mental note to ask Mr. Kim about this because clearly the security around here is still a problem. I thanked Kyuhyun for the file before leaving. I felt his cold stare behind my back as I left.


Now that I had all of the information I could finally get into the dorm... Did Mr. Kim intentionally set this up to test my skills or something?


As I finally got through the door to the dorm I thought that maybe this would finally all be worth it. I mean here I was a guy with access to the Girl's Generation dorms! Most guys would kill for that opportunity! But alas it was not to be. I wandered into the kitchen for something to drink. I opened the fridge nearly hitting Seohyun in the face with the door. I apologized profusely and introduced myself. What do you know? Someone else lost some shit and I had to go find it. Such is the life of a Soshi manager.


I said goodbye to Seohyun and was about to leave when I came across Hyoyeon in the living room. She said she'd been just standing around for an hour or so. What do you know? Hyoyeon being useless, I thought. Of course I didn't say that but my less than enthusiastic attitude may have given something away. I politely excused myself so I could go find Yuri's things.

Only three days on the job and already I was getting burnt out.



I headed upstairs to deal with Yuri's "crisis". The room was a wreck, figures I thought. Well it's my job to find her shit and find her shit is what I shall do! (I don't know why the image is darker)


It took about an hour of digging through the room including literally hundreds of pairs of shoes and panties (not complaining about that) but I finally managed to find all her shit. Da fuq, I mean seriously who misplaces a cell phone inside a pillow case. Exhausted, I turned to go get the car when the dumb hoe asks for ANOTHER favor!? Bish please, I need a 2 litre of beer after this shit. I gritted my teeth and said sure, however. I don't want to get fired before I get one paycheck after all.


I'm sure you will. I'm sure you'll also lose it under a bridge and I'll have to go find it, too.


We finally made it through traffic to the mall. The girls all ran off as soon as we got there. I reminded them that we were on a tight schedule and that they had to meet me back here in ONE hour. Hyoyeon promised me she would let the others know. I really hoped they would keep their word since I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to let them do this. I couldn't believe the fate of my career rested in the hands of Hyoyeon.


One hour passed and surprise, surprise the girls were no where to be seen. I stood at the edge of a balcony in the mall contemplating whether or not to jump when I thought I saw one of the girls on the other side. I waved my arms frantically pointing at my watch, trying to get her attention to no avail. For fucks sake I thought as I took off running as fast as I could.


T... That's... Great I said trying to catch my breath. I might have coughed up some blood too. I really need to get in shape. I noticed Seohyun seemed a bit distraught...


Aww. That's Seobaby, ever the mature adult. She acts so much older than her age. I told Hyoyeon that I agreed with her. It's really such a waste to spend so much at convenience stores and that food is so unhealthy.


Well, sorry Hyoyeon. Sorry I didn't know about your convenience store fetish. I've only been here three days after all. Fuckin' bish...


After that bit of awkwardness I managed to finally get all the girls in the car and we arrived at MBC.


The girls went off to get prepared when out of the blue Key came up to me. Apparently me having a minute to relax after that mall fiasco was obvious as Key seemed like he, too wanted something from me. Well, it turns out my reputation of winning guessing and trivia games and other bullshit like that preceded me as now HE wanted to challenge me. I was just about to turn down his stupid request when...


I facepalmed mentally. Thanks a lot you stupid Jung sister. I reluctantly agreed to Key's challenge while he looked at me with that stupid smirk on his face.


Of course I won and for some reason Jessica felt like getting all emotional on me.


Yeah, yeah. I knew how everyone called her "Ice Princess". I listened quietly while she went on about how no one understands her. I guess this was a new side of Sicca I had never seen before, whatever it was I could feel myself liking her a lot more, that or her shirt really made her boobs look nice. Whatever it was I liked what I felt.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. After MBC I drove the girls home and had several drinks that night.

Dream Girls recently released an album, and the each of the members had a solo song. This is Puff's MV, and she's just too cute.

On a related note, Puff and Heechul are going to be on WGM Global together. I don't know what crime Puff committed, but I'm ready for the ELFs to talk shit about her all day every day now.

I don't care enough to comment on all of the people whining about how sexually degrading "Shower Later" is. These girls chose to be in the mother fucking music video, so they're fine with people oggling at their tits for money. Plus, I would rather look at above-mentioned tits than to argue with these faux feminists anyway.

I don't have to write shit.

Follow @PopularENT for all Tara N4 updates! Tara N4 US album cover artwork contest happening now. Submit your ideas now! Winner meets TN4!!
— Damuer H. Leffridge (@Damuer) January 15, 2014

The COUNTDOWN has begun! T-ara N4 US Album "Miss Understood" feat. Chris Brown, Wiz Khalifa, Ray J and more! STAY TUNED!!! #missunderstood

— Damuer H. Leffridge (@Damuer) January 15, 2014

This gif says it all.

I don't know what the fuck KKS is thinking tbh because this debut is going to be one mother fucking travesty. T-ara N4 already looked ghetto enough when they flew over to America to answer Chris Brown's "love call" (coughs). I mean, do I really need to remind you of this?

#Ratchet

Now, they're going to emphasise this ruffian theme that they're going with, by having a collab with several known hoodrats.

Let me state all the reasons why these guys really are famous:

• Chris Brown: beating up Rihanna (and others).
• Ray J: singing a song that brags about taking Kim K's virginity, and who is less popular than his sex tape.
• Wiz Khalifa: going out with some model called Amber Rose and tweeting about his sexual fantasies with her in the most vivid manner ever.

I'm honestly very intrigued to hear what T-ara N4's got to offer with this American debut considering that none of them are even remotely fluent in the English language, so unless they are planning to do "rap" in Korean with Chris Brown whining all over a song. I'm hoping they shove Dani in the sub-unit because I don't see how this is going to work. 

I'm also curious to know who is going to be taking creative control of the album. After all, it was Chris that brought TN4 to America - purely for the music, of course due to feeling a "special connection" with the song (ahem). Obviously, he's renowned for his musical talent and originality, therefore he would probably want to contribute to the compositional aspect to the song. Of course, we can't forget Ray J - a lyrical genius - who will probably have something fabulous in store for the girls (I hit it, I hit it, I hi-i-i-it first~).

Oh! And if that wasn't enough, TN4 will also going to be touring in the U.S!

This week's photo comes from an anonymous asker from my ask.fm:



Thank you for your submission!

~*~*~



Woah, girl. Might want to loosen your grip a little.

I don't know. Out of all the sexy descriptions you could have used, using a childrens' drink just doesn't really sound like a turn on. But maybe I am just the weird one.

But, being an Asian man, his phallus probably could be as skinny as that straw.

Speaking of Caprisuns:


Ughh. He knows my struggle.


If anyone has submissions for future Stupid Things Fangirls Utter, please send them to zomg.oppa.sareanghae@gmail.com, tweet them to @akf_shinbi, ask them at ask.fm/akfshinbi, or leave them in the comment section below. Remember your rights on this site: anything you say or do here can and probably will be used against you. Thank you, FISHies!

It's been too hot where I live to write blogs.  The other day Adelaide became the official hottest capital city in the world - fuck that shit.  It's cooling down though so I'll bring you something with words in it over the next few days.  In the meantime, here's a completely thoughtless blog post.  Let's sing along: